Monday, June 29, 2009

Monday, Monday can't trust that day

For all who don't know the title was a song by the Mamas and Papas. Knowing that classifies me as a baby boomer.
Weekend was hectic. Rob worked on Saturday for overtime and I took the dog to the groomers, cleaned the house, did laundry, visited my mother and sister for awhile and got groceries. I also prepared a nice dinner. I was exhausted and in bed by 9. Sunday I slept until 8 a.m. strange for me but still woke up tired. I am so far behind on sleep. I took it a bit easier Sunday although my Mom had a really bad day, called at 9:30 and was overwhelmed. My sister had run to the grocery store for about an hour. She has been going out more and more trying to get my mother used to being at home alone with my father. My mother is questioning every decision she ever made at this point. I don't think at times she understands that I simply must work. We cannot make it without my income right now. I get off ten hours a month and since I can only take off 4 unscheduled days per year I must be careful with them and use them only for serious illness. I can schedule other time off in advance but I need to give several weeks notice for that. Emotional meltdowns cannot be scheduled.
Today starts some new changes at work. Schedules have been changed for many coworkes. Mine remains the same due to medical restrictions. I am trying to just go with the flow, do the best I can at my job, supporting my mother, etc. but doing it all without getting too stressed out. It's difficult.
Today I woke at 5 and I am sitting here, having showered but I still need to dry my hair, get dressed and have breakfast and it's nearing 7:30. That leaves me 45 mins to do all this. There are not enough hours in the day. I have messages from friends who are complaining I don't call them. If I call them there is nothing much to talk about right now. My life exists reliving the same day over and over. It's a long and tiring day. I just can't fit another thing in. My only escape is my half an hour or so I spend on Facebook catching up and playing games. That is my ME time. My Dad is the same, talking less and seeming frailer. It seems he is leaving us ever so slowly....but all the same he is leaving us. I never thought it would be this hard.


Missie said...

I think watching a loved one leave us a little bit every day must be sooo hard! I can't imagine!

Hope you have a good week.

alphawoman said...

Oh Nelle, you are always in my thoughts.