Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Facebook Statuses That Were Posted THERE This Week

Father's Day is this Sunday I was trying to think of a way to honor my Dad. While his physical being is still with us, so much of what made him himself is gone. It's like you are mourning for someone who is still here and at times, you wish for HIS SAKE that it would end. My Dad would have never wanted to be alive like this. He has so little control over his body. It is difficult for us to care for him and even harder to get people you are paying to show up and do a good job.
The care is very expensive and it is a credit to him that he saved over the years to afford it when he needed it.

My Dad was from humble beginnings. He was born in Alabama and moved to Louisiana (he pronounced it Loosiana.)
He had a very controlling mother and at the age of 17 he left and joined the Navy. He never spent more than a few nights again with his parents until the last decade of their life when he built a new home with an apartment for them on it and moved them to NJ. Dad was not a goody two shoes and got in his share of trouble which for his privacy I won't get into.
Sometime around 1950 he met my mother who was a real goody two shoes. She still says he had been drinking when she first met him and she told him she would not approve of that. She took him to her church, made him quit smoking and drinking and married him shortly after, in an elopement. Two years later my oldest brother Jimmy was born. He was named after Dad and the pride of my father's eye. A few years later I was born and Dad was thrilled to have a girl. Mom wanted to name me Candy and there were actual items with that name embroidered on it but Dad at the last minute wanted to name me after my Mom's childless aunt so I was Nelle Claire. A few years later my brother Bobby joined us then my only sister, Dottie then six years later the baby David was born. Dad, an only child, ended up father to five! He always said he didn't want us to be lonely like he was. When the first four of us were born, was a chief petty officer in the Navy. He was stationed all over and much of that time we stayed with my grandparents. Eventually we built a house around the corner from them where we lived until Dad retired. When he retired he had to work two jobs to make it with the four of us. He had been a deep sea diver in the Navy and was somewhat of an expert about "the bends". He was offered a job in New York with Union Carbide. Later Mt. Sinai Hospital hired him away from them. This was the job he stayed in until his retirement years later. We went from struggling to living "high on the hog". Thing is, Dad made a bad investment and in 1971 almost lost everything. From that time on, he became a lot more conservative with his investments and didn't invest with cows again until his retirement when he purchased a 14 acre property and built a house on it. He was finally a farmer, what I think he had always wanted. His Dad died first but not before years earlier Dad saved his life by discovering a visible aortic aneurysm and rushing him into Sinai where a vascular surgeon performed the surgery. My grandmother had Alzheimer's and at some point had to be put into a nursing home. She nearly blew up the house one day, turning the gas stove on and gas was escaping.

After Dad's retirement he took it easy around the farm and began to visit jails. He took Bibles and tried to convince the men to turn their lives around. Many of them had children and he even lent some of them money. While I questioned his judgement, after his stroke three huge men were at the rehab and they told me that they had met him when they were in jail and he had a very positive impact on their lives. They stood there praying over him and crying and thanking him.

For Facebook, I decided to post some of the things my Dad did that I was grateful for. Today was the first posting:
I am grateful that my father was generous. He often treated those less fortunate than us and did so in a way that was not embarrassing for them.
These will be some other statuses that will be posted:
When other Dads drove around in boring station wagons, my Dad bought a 1968 cherry red Fire bird and everyone envied us in it!
Dad gave me "pearls of wisdom"
"hate is not the opposite of love...apathy is." (This was invaluable during my divorce)
Another pearl:
Love is not a feeling. It starts that way, but at some point it becomes a decision.

Dad loved to tell the story of my birth "They wheeled you out nekkid as a jaybird and I saw you for the first time."
(Dad had 5 kids but I was the only one whose birth he was there for.

When I was just two and got sun poisoning I started a high fever and became delirious. When Dad got home from work he was so scared he jumped into a bathtub full of cold water holding me. He was wearing his dress uniform.

Lastly, (and through tears)
After Dad's first stroke they took him to the hospital ER. I knew it was very serious after they had read the CT scan the doctor said that he would have to learn everything over. I looked down at him with tears in my eyes and he looked up and smiled and said "Oh babe. come on. It's not that bad." Oh Dad if you only knew what was ahead......

Happy Father's Day Dad. Thank you for all the good memories.

Monday, June 14, 2010

This and That

Last night was a real rough on here for me. I had gone with my mother a few weeks ago to the Dollar Store (her favorite place I think.) I needed a jar of roasted red peppers and they had one. I checked the expiration date and figured it was fine. The first time I had some in a salad I noticed I had stomach cramps and wondered if it was the peppers and then thought "nah". Yesterday I had some more and from 11 p.m. until 4 a.m. I was in the bathroom frequently. I am so tired and feel dehydrated today. Lesson learned: no more food from the dollar store. My mother buys lots of stuff there and has never had a problem but she doesn't have my immune system.

Rob worked this weekend. He worked all day last Saturday too. He never complains and just wants me to worry less about money. I worry about him not getting enough rest and working too hard. There was a huge sale at his warehouse and he got the "easy" job of directing traffic. He came home badly sunburned. I kept applying aloe to it and he took aspirin but he was hurting. I tried to be so quiet last night and let him rest. He is only working half a day today and taking the afternoon off as he is getting his yearly physical. I will be glad to grab a few extra hours with him. He is going to be working this Saturday also. I am disappointed that my sister who caused the chaos last week is coming also this weekend for Father's Day. It means she will be there at least until dinner time. I will go over whatever time she leaves. I told my mother I am in a drama free zone and anyone who can jeopardize that will be avoided.

Thinking I may go take a brief rest before Rob gets home. I am so tired today. Have a good week.

Sunday, June 06, 2010

New Look

I decided I needed a new look for the blog. Thank you Missie for directing me to the site where I found this one. Pink (actually HOT pink) and green (almost a fuchsia) are my favorite colors. I find I always look for things in these colors. My house has the green kitchen but the rest of the house is not. I love my apple green kitchen walls and find them so peaceful.

It has been a hectic weekend. Some family upsets which have now been resolved. I got to be a peacemaker for once.

My sister was here and she is like the white tornado. Wish I had half her energy. My breathing problems are so very frustrating. Rob had made me a zen garden out back. Today I tried to go there (it's located at the base of the woods) but noticed so many weeds growing amongst the rocks. I leaned over to pick them and it's like someone knocks the wind out of me. The doctor tells me that I should keep moving and increase activity in order for them to get better. They are still healing and I realize now that they probably never healed from the Fall. I say this to myself throughout the day

"Patience grasshopper." I am gentle with nature, animals and other human beings. Now it is my time to apply the same gentleness and patience to myself. Easier said than done but I am making progress. After all, I think we are all works in progress, even up until the very last day. I never want to stop seeking and learning and most of all improving myself.

Thursday, June 03, 2010

On the Mend

Today I had the pulmonary function tests with the pulmonologist. I really like her. She seems professional, competent and caring. Yesterday I had met my friend I had not seen in five years at the mall. Said friend is in pretty good physical condition and I coulnd't keep up with her. She was walking at a normal pace for her as I huffed and puffed and finally begged her to slow down. I was getting a warm sensation in my head and feeling light headed. Dr. G explained that when you have a severe pneumonia it takes several months before your lungs are healed and working. In fact, because of the frequent bouts I had this year, mine will no doubt take longer AND most importantly, they are "OUT OF CONDITION'. I must use discipline and slowly force myself to exercise, although it will leave be breathless at times. She discussed some options that I did not wish to use. I am eager to get back to work. I have benefits to pay for and I have been out so much this year. I am not going to compromise my health. I will have to get busy the next few weeks and start strengthening them. I also learned that my lungs are small. This made me chuckle. When I had heart surgery the surgeon had to use a smaller valve than usual. He told me my valves and arteries were small. Something he would expect to see in a tiny woman. I am short but I have always carried around extra pounds. I have a rather muscular build but tend to put weight on in the stomach area. I realized that INSIDE I am a petite, delicate person. Outside I am a muscular and active person. Unfortunately my size 1 is confined to my internal body.

My husband is working this Saturday. My sister is coming from Albany to spend the weekend at my parents and that will give us a lot of time to visit. My mother had just replaced my father's main care giver of a year with three different caregivers from two different companies. One resigned last Saturday and she found out a second will be leaving in September. My father has a hard time adjusting to new care givers. He was very fond of the guy who quit after a year. Making matters worse, the guy just quit coming...no notice....not even to his employer. These people are paid very low wages to change diapers, sponge bathe etc. The companies are paid nicely. My mother is spending thousands a year out of her pocket. Often the companies tell her to call the people when they don't show up. The companies do little to nothing and at times my father has never been able to get out of his bed for the entire day. It's disheartening to say the least.

Have a wonderful weekend and enjoy the warmer weather......thanks for stopping by.:)