Saturday, February 28, 2009

Medical progress & visit with my friend Laura

Laura, strong and courageous
I have had four medical appointments this week. My calendar was filled. On Thursday I met an endocrinologist, who specializes in diabetes. He was informative and I learned that my leg arteries needed to be ultra sounded, which I did this morning. On Friday I went to the hospital and had about a five hour procedure, start to finish. It was a persentine nuclear stress test. It basically checks your heart to see if you might have any blockages. It involved an IV, my least favorite procedure and injections, one was radioactive. Although I looked throughout the day, I did not glow.:) The team at this hospital are wonderful. I explained up front that they should expect me to be somewhat neurotic. When they saw how fast my pulse was, they took me seriously. The test went fine and I am hoping that I will get the results from the cardiologist on Monday. I expect they will be fine. After Monday (my fifth medical appointment/procedure in one week) I can have a few days off. I have not been sleeping well and have been very tired. I look forward to that. I am hoping and praying that all tests come back fine.

Last night around dinner time my friend Laura called. Her husband and son were out of town and she wanted me to come visit. It had been two years since we last got together because of my job taking so much of my time and her dealing with a home remodeling that went out of control and other issues. It was so good to see her. I had her birthday presents with me since her birthday was this Thursday but she didn't think she could get together that day. We ordered Chinese food in and just sat and chatted for about three hours. It takes an hour to get there and I wanted to leave before 10:30 because I was so tired. It is the first time in awhile I have driven that far by myself. I am testing out a new blood pressure medication that is in the form of a patch. Yes, it seems odd like I am secretly trying to stop smoking and I am hoping I won't have to keep explaining it to people if they happen to see it. Laura's family are really a handful. Her only son has hemophilia (he has had a difficult life because of the severity of his) and her husband is always looking for her to set things right for him. He is a nice guy but not every woman could handle the pressure as she does. They had gone to the Nascar race and then he went to a bar and had a few drinks. He called her (in NJ) to ask what his room number was and where their son was. We were laughing and rolling our eyes. He got frustrated and hung up. She then had to call her son and have him go locate his Dad, which he did quickly and without a problem. When my son had leukemia I met Laura because both our sons had the same hematologist/oncologist. We have known each other about eighteen years now. It never escapes me that while my son had three and a half difficult years, his illness ended and he was able to go on with a somewhat normal life. Her son will never enjoy one day without concern for his illness. He has changed from the little boy who loved over sized stuffed animals into a young man. He has a steady girlfriend and a new car. He is finally working full time and earning a good living. That does a mother's heart good and her friend's also. Sometimes you just need to sit with an old friend and look at where you've come from and enjoy the moment. That was a big dose of much needed medicine for me. Today I am going to take it easy...have a long, luxuriating bath, listen to music and feel that I am finally moving towards my goal of having all my health issues under control. Let it be.

Thursday, February 26, 2009

Missing Jen

This is my sister-in-law, Jennifer. We lost her on June 8, 2007 when she developed a very rare form of cancer, peripheral nerve sheath cancer. This cancer develops in certain people who have Neurofribramotosis which she did.

She would have been 35 on February 4th. She left behind a daughter who is now ten years old. We call, write and visit her whenever possible. The last night of Jen's life we visited with her (we had spent several days with her before that) and we went back to my mother-in-law's house after the hospital. My mother-in-law has several sisters and their daughters who have a "girls' night out" monthly. It was planned for that evening and at the last minute they chose to spend it with Jen at the hospital. The staff of the hospital provided food for them and while they were having their final visit with Jen, we were there with her daughter. Her daughter wanted me to sleep with her and we laid there with me trying to answer all the questions she had and me wondering if she could possibly comprehend that at eight years old she was losing her mother. The following morning at about 5 a.m. the phone rang. I jumped up and went into the kitchen where my mother-in-law was talking. "She's gone." We cried quietly and when my niece C got up we didn't tell her about her mother. That was her grandmother's decision. C was playing the violin in a concert at her school and was so excited. Her grandmother wanted her to have that day to enjoy. After the concert we picked her up from school and brought her home and her grandmother put her on her lap and told her that her Mommy was gone. She was very quiet. We had already gone to the funeral home before the concert and made all the arrangements. Jen and I both loved gerbera daisies. Her Mom wanted her to have those flowers so we coordinated and while her Mom gave her the casket spray we bought her a spectacular heart that was put over the casket. We focused so much the next few days on the little girl who had lost her Mommy. At one point when I cried she came over to me put her arm around my neck and gently whispered "My Mommy loved you very much."

I have the things Jen gave me here. I look at them frequently. My favorite is the unicorn she gave me. At our wedding they played the unicorn song and she and I alone danced to it. The following Christmas we each gave each other a unicorn (totally unplanned). Jen was so many things....a beautiful smile, a great sense of humor, a breath of fresh air. After dating her brother for awhile she asked me if I thought we would get married. I told her that at that point I was beginning to wonder if he was every going to propose. She laughed and said "If he doesn't marry you I will!" From then on we joked about that. She sent me emails and signed them your lil unicorn sister. Jen was my sister of the heart. She was not perfect (none of us are) and I will never try to make her into something she was not. She would have hated that. I just wonder at what point I will stop missing her so much. I wonder what goes on in the thoughts of a ten year old child. I do know for Christmas when asked what she wanted she told her grandmother her Christmas wish was to spend time with her mother. I guess throughout her life there will be many moments where her mother's presence will be sadly missed. I hope I can be there for the important moments. Jen knew we would always be watching out for her as much as possible.

Forever in our hearts

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

My Love of Reading

The last entry about books started me to thinking about my love for reading and how it all came about. I really have my great grandmother to thank for that. My great grandmother was a woman ahead of her time. She lived to be 97 years old. She had eight children and to her sorrow she buried several of them, including her youngest son, Jack, killed in World War II. When we were little my older brother couldn't say Great Grandma so he called her "Gran Gran" and we all followed suit. I think she loved having a name a little different and she took such delight in her great grandchildren. Her husband had died when her youngest son was not much more than a baby. For many years she was a single mother and I don't know how she survived financially. She always owned her own home, until the end of her life. Her home that I always remember her in was small but filled with lovely antiques. I lived frequently with my grandparents and she lived next door to them. Many days I would drop in to visit with her. She always had bottles of Coke in the refrigerator and cookies and peppermints in her candy dish. When I was in kindergarten my parents built a house around the block from hers but we were still in Silver Spring. Often I would get off the school bus at her home. Sometime during that time she began to have visual problems. Still she managed to teach me how to read by sounding things out. She was patient and ever so encouraging. When my reading lessons were done, I was treated to an ice cold Coke and a cookie. What joy those visits were for both of us. Soon she had me reading out of the Bible although the names were so difficult for me. Her vision was leaving as my reading skills were improving. She learned that she had glaucoma but too late for them to do anything to fix it. I was heartbroken for her but she was a stoic woman who told me she would be okay. She still baked blind and never failed in her independence. She was very distressed that when she applied to several blind agencies they refused to teach her to read Braille. They told her she was too old to learn. They didn't know what an intelligent woman they were dealing with. For years after Gran Gran lost her sight I would visit her and read her Bible to her. She would smile and tell me that I was a blessing to her. When I was in fourth grade we moved to New Jersey and I was sad to leave my grandmother and great grandmother behind. At that time there were no unlimited calling plans and they couldn't afford to call us very often. In our family room were shelves of books. My Dad ordered a set of classic books and I began to read right through them. Among them was Lorna Doone which I particularly remember reading. My love for reading was already there and I went to our school library and read an entire set of books that were biographies, such as George Washington Carver. I would then send letters to my great grandmother describing the books. She wrote back, using a ruler to keep her lines straight. Once in tenth grade I went for a visit and I was telling her about my geometry class. She told me that she loved geometry and she began to talk about all the theorems. She remembered them all and how to apply them. It was at that moment I realized just how intelligent she was. Later when I got married I wore the pendant that was passed down through her family. There were a long line of women named Clara Virginia (her, her daughter and my mother). My mother broke the chain but my middle name was Claire so I was given the okay to wear it. My sister's middle name is Virginia. Gran Gran did not attend my wedding because she was getting a little frail and didn't want to interfere with everyone else enjoying themselves. When I was pregnant I called her first to inform her she was going to become a great great grandmother and she was thrilled. I have a picture of the five generations of us.

I have many things that belonged to my great grandmother. I have a music box from her dresser (probably aluminum but blue with fake jewels on top), I have a faux Chinese ivory chest with small drawers that also was on her dresser and I have a pin she loved. She gifted me the chest because each day I was there I commented how much I liked it. On my wedding day it was sent to me with a note inside telling me how she loved me and wished me all the best. I know how much she used it and that it was a real sacrifice for her to part with it. The greatest gift she ever gave me though was the gift of reading. When I am stressed I can open a book and leave where I am and go anywhere. I can use my imagination and envision the characters. Ironically, I also inherited Gran Gran's black hair and her glaucoma. Mine was diagnosed very early and I use drops which keep it under control. It is reassuring to know that there are many medicines and surgeries available which control it now. One of the worst things that could happen to me would be to lose my availability to read. I plan to keep my vision and my books for a long time to come.

Monday, February 23, 2009

Books:an Important Part of My Life

I love books. I love to read books and sometimes I cannot part with them. I just did another inventory because I have a shelf over my computer desk on which I keep my favorites. Right now I am holding on to the Jodi Picoult books but later I will keep only my very favorites of hers such as My Sisters Keeper. One of my favorite authors is Anna Quindlen who used to have a column for the New York Times many years ago. She took many of her best columns and put them in two books which I have reread many times Living Out Loud and Thinking Out Loud. I also have her fictional novels Black and Blue and Blessings. I have three books by Kahlil Gibran and often I read from The Prophet. I have many self help books and some psychology books that I often read. I have a few fictional novels that I will not part with which I have read multiples times, such as Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood and Lovely Bones.

Many years ago I had a friend who I exchanged books with all the time. When we got together over tea we often discussed what we had read.Many wonderful conversations took place in my kitchen regarding our love of a good read. One thing that really annoyed me was I would lend her books which would not be returned. I had bought the hard copy of Lovely Bones and told her how I loved it. My husband wanted to read it but she told me she would read it and get it back to me within the week. She lost it and replaced it with a paperback version. I am not a book snob but over years the paperbacks turn yellow and age badly. I once lent her teenage daughter one of my favorite books ever Love xx Janis by Laura Joplin. I made her swear that it would be returned in it's pristine condition and her Mom assured me she would see to it (the book was being used for an important school project). When the book came out new it was available in hot pink and turquoise covers. I chose the hot pink. For the next few months and even a year later I asked for the book back but I never got it back. The mother later told me that her daughter developed attachments to things that belonged to people she cared about and I told her while I could appreciate that concept, it was not HER thing but mine. I finally went to Amazon.Com and bought one although I had to get it in turquoise. At least I can read it again when I want to.

I think of all the books that I treasure one of the most, is a book most of you have never heard of, Walking Through the Fire by Laurel Lee. When I was first diagnosed with Hodgkins Disease I couldn't find anyone else who had had it. I later realized my radiologist was treating THREE young women but he kept our appointments at different times so we could never meet. At some point my mother gave me a magazine with an article about a young mother, like myself who had Hodgkins Disease. She was diagnosed while pregnant and refused to have a late term abortion. She wrote a story for them and I was elated to know there was someone else out there who had a young child (in her case a third on the way) and could understand what I was going through. Later she published her story in a book which was actually a journal she had kept in the hospital. I cannot tell you how much that book comforted me on my loneliest nights. Her husband later left her for their babysitter. She was a beautiful woman living a hippy lifestyle and really struggling. Her prognosis was very poor but she pulled through. Over the years she wrote two more books which I have although the third I only have in paperback and have never been able to find in hard cover, Signs of Spring. Last Fall I stumbled upon something online and learned that she had another cancer battle which had finally claimed her life. While I was saddened by that news I thought back to what an incredible life she had lived. She survived cancer for twenty years! Three separate occurences (her original, a relapse and later pancreatic) but she was diagnosed the first time with stage four. This woman is my heroine. It's not how long you live, but how you live your life. She lived her life stoically, full of dignity and grace and most importantly love. She turned the low point of her life around and used her experience to provide hope for others. She became a college writing professor in Oregon. Even though her life is over, I feel as though she lives on in the hearts and minds of the people she helped and I am eternally grateful to have known her, if only through her words and her lovely illustrations. Thank you Laurel. I found she had written another book, Tapestry which i just ordered online today. It can be ordered on if any of you are interested they also have a bio of Laurel Lee there.

Sunday, February 22, 2009

Getting Things in Order PC Wise

I finally dumped AOL after paying them for years. The past year it had caused me many problems. The constant downloads froze up my computer and numerous attempts with their techs to fix it finally consumed so much of my time I couldn't take it anymore. Today we went to Best Buy and bought Webroot Internet Security which they recommend over the others. I was not about to pay Verizon another $6 a month when I am already paying them $49 for internet service. I am going to bundle up and investigating the cable vs fios prices. I must say since uninstalling AOL and the other virus programs I seem to be running so much smoother.
We were expecting snow today but it was warm and we had a light rain on and off. We got a lot accomplished around the house. Rob is helping me to put all my favorite quotes from various notebooks into one nice one. I am trying to get all that I can organized. I cleaned out my beside table and found a book I had forgotten I had. This week I have already read a Jodi Piccoult book, Change of Heart. Last week I had read another one and right now I am reading one of Mitch Albom's books that I discovered this morning. Being out of work gives me the wonderful luxury of reading. When working full time I simply have little time to read. I have a busy week filled with three doctor visits and I look forward more and more to having the issues resolved that I am experiencing. I have found that if my glucose is too low or my blood pressure is too low I am unable to tell the difference. In either case I get light headed and shakey. I have to be able to get this sorted out and resolved before I can return to work.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

A Rough Night

Firstly, I want to thank my Leprechaun for making me another header for my blog, and this one is in Gaelic even for St. Patty's Day. Bless you baby. He did this following a very bad and sleepless night. My dizziness has persisted to the point that Rob has been driving me until I get this under control. It seems there are two separate causes for it. On Saturday it was low blood pressure but today it was too low blood sugar. It is going to take time to get this in check. Last night I awoke at 4 a.m. and with only a nightlight attempted to brush my teeth. Once the brush was in my mouth I tasted something fowl and realized that although it was the size of my toothpaste (I was looking at the back not front of the tube) I had put some ointment on the brush. YIKES. I put on the light and read the fine print and saw it said to call a poison control IF ingested. Of course I was spitting it out, certainly not swallowing it but the worrier inside of me was screaming "Call the poison control and why would you be so careless?" I woke Rob up in my panic and he helped me to find the number in a phone book after the number 411 gave me wasn't working. A very nice young man told me that drug companies do this to protect themselves and not to worry that a small amount of cortizone was not going to harm me if absorbed. Had I eaten the tube (huh?) I would have some serious intestinal distress. Now I climbed back into bed but was in alert mode and it took hours to fall back to sleep. Today we moved about like zombies. I tried to take a nap and but neighbor was yelling and dogs were barking and that was the end of that. So tonight I am exhausted and hoping for a good night's sleep tonight. The temperature has dropped and winds are howling. I always think of homeless people when it gets this cold. I cannot imagine having to endure the elements in bitter cold. Although times are rough and we are cutting corners and have concerns I am so grateful for our warm little home and food to eat and health insurance. Somedays I truly feel that my cup overfloweth.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Taking Care of Business

As of Monday I am out of work on temporary disability. I never knew there was so much paperwork to do. It is my understanding you can only get 60 per cent of your working salary, even if you have a back up insurance as I do. Not sure why then I am paying for that. I guess it will take a few weeks to figure all that out. I cringe knowing how much time my doctor will spend filling out all these forms. My car payment will be covered while I am out by a policy I took, which since I am getting partial salary will certainly help. I learned not to expect a check from disability for eight weeks. That's a long time I think. Thankfully we are not people who spend every last dime and I always have credit cards for an emergency. Of course I am praying I won't have to use them.

I ended up back at the doctor's Monday and I go again next Monday. Next week I also get my stress test which I am a bit anxious about. I also see the endocrinologist and he will let me know if I am on the right medicine and dosage. Have I mentioned how grateful I am to have insurance that does not require me to get referrals for everything I do? It's enough just to make all these appointments, which all require copays. I am trying to keep my stress level to a minimum.

I am concerned about my friend Ronni who has not posted in a week. She had a bone marrow transplant and I know she is going through so very much but she did manage to post right after receiving the new marrow. I check throughout the day and eagerly await her next post just to know she is doing okay. She is so brave, having gone through this twice before. I know it's expecting a lot for her to post I just want to know so badly that she is doing okay. At this point all I can do is pray and wait.

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Struggling with Multiple Issues

Yesterday I went to the nutritionist and learned a lot about how to manage carbs. I was so encouraged and feeling much better. A comment from Virginia and an email from my friend Barbara who is diabetic, helped my spirits. Sometimes when you know someone else is going through your same ordeal you don't feel so alone. My ever caring Rob took me to the supermarket where I wanted to pick up something for dinner and lots of fresh veggies. I have learned that the fruit snacks I thought were healthy were really working against me. We picked up some steaks for a special Valentines Day dinner and some necessary items when I suddenly felt very weak. I thought for certain I was going to pass out right there. (Have I mentioned my fear of passing out in public, which has happened on more than one occassion?) I grabbed some nuts and began to munch on them thinking that would help, it usually does. I left Rob with the cart at the check out and stumbled to a bench and tested my blood. The problem was not there so I was stumped. We got home as quickly as possible when I asked Rob (now performing medical duties) to check my blood pressure.

I felt so shaky I could barely make it into the house and a chair. I was shocked to see it was 67/60. I immediately called the internist but since it was Saturday, late morning I got the service. They got a message to her and about an hour later she called back. She was very concerned. I had now had a nice cup of tea and a few glasses of water because I knew the numbers being that close together meant I was dehydrated. She asked me to take it again and she would call me back. I did and now about an hour and a half later, it rose to 110/70. That is a good pressure but you have to realize that for the past month my bottom number has never been below 100. That is why I was prescribed TWO blood pressure meds and a diuretic. Folks, it is quite scary to feel that weak. I am happy to report that by bedtime my bp was up to 137/70 and it was the same this morning. Perhaps the diabetic meds are causing it to be lower than normal. Tomorrow morning I have to go back there and they want to take it. I want to make sure I do not experience that again. I keep thinking had I been alone I would have been in big trouble. Rob is always my guardian angel and he never acts annoyed or inconvenienced. This is such a drastic change from my former spouse who could never be bothered and complained if I woke him up when I was sick. I never knew anyone could be so supportive and I appreciate the many things Rob does for me each and every day.

We ended up sending out for Chinese food. I rarely eat it because of he salt and my blood pressure so I seized the opportunity. I did watch my carbs though.

Tonight we had the steaks and they were quite good. I have to plan out meals to be certain now that I don't have too many carbs.

With Valentines I think about love a lot. Once Oprah said "Love is not a word, it's a behavior." That is so true and it is so wonderfully delicious to feel loved. Thank you Rob for that, above all else. I cherish you.

Friday, February 13, 2009

Taking Control of My Health

Last night as I left my doctor's office I had a lot to think about. She said she thought I would benefit from some temporary disability time off from work. Thing is, I am literraly tethered to a computer and phone system at work. Yes, when calls are slow, we get some time off but for the most part it's a very confining situation. The past few months I have been horribly exhausted and felt lightheaded and distracted much of the time. My boss called me for a pow wow and said my numbers were not what they had been. Not surprising when you look at the overall picture but companies are not in the business of letting you not work when you don't feel well. Today I went to HR and made the necessary arrangements to go out for TDI on Monday.
The sad part is that I will get sixty per cent of my salary. That's not a lot. Of couse I won't be using gas and won't have some expenses that I do have working. As nervous as I am while trying to do this while my husband is on unemployment, I felt I must. The diabetes has not responded well to the first round of medicine, my dose has been doubled now. My blood pressure, although on a diaretic and two other medicines, remains quite high. I deffinitely need some time to relax, get these things in order and remember to breathe.
Tomorrow I am going to a nutritionist who is going to figure out just what I can eat. Carbs, obviously, must be limited. While in the grocery store it's amzing how many things get ruled out already. Weight control products are so salt laden, another thing I must avoid. I need an education by the nutritionist and I am hoping that my weight will drop as my glucose level does. Of course it would be Valentine's Day tomorrow. Godiva chocolate, I doubt we will ever be friends again. I loved you so but living is more important. For all of those who can indulge I salute you.
Happy Valentines Day to all. I wish you a day filled with love and joy.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

United Healthcare Leaves Much to be Desired

I am very disillusioned with my healthcare provider. In fact, I plan to speak to my HR dept. about it. It all started when they told me I had no coverage for anything related to diabetes. I spoke to THREE pharmacy agents who all told me this. One of them told me that the only glucometer they ever covered was the One Touch Basic which three pharmacists from various pharmacies told me had not been made in a very long time. Turns out that a wonderful woman who works for CVS, Rosalee got it all straightened out for me while I was at work. I now have all necessary supplies and I even called CVS headquarters to tell them what a great asset she was to their store. Kudos Rosalee and when I have a few extra dollars I plan to surprise you with a bouquet of flowers. The world needs more people like you, who take pride in doing their job AND going the extra mile. I wish United Healthcare had some employees like this because their employees all seem to give the wrong information on a continuous basis. My husband needed a cat scan. Our main doctor's office called them numerous times to arrange the necessary precertification and were told that he was not on my policy. Finally they gave the office manager a number, which appears to be bogus. Adding insult to injury, the idiots sent me a letter with a DIFFERENT precert no and had MY name on it not his. So scheduled cat scan tomorrow will not exist. Good going United Healthcare you have managed to stress me out beyond all imagination in the last month. What I need to do on my time off of work is contantly call your company and get someone who is clueless. When you ask for a supervisor you are told there is a twenty-four hour callback time. Oddly enough, though I have requested callbacks TWICE none have ever taken place. I plan to ask my company NOT to use them again. I paid $603 in insurance premiums in January alone. Do I not deserve some correct information? My cardiologist and I have tried for MONTHS to find a place in network where I can get a stress test. We are given names but when we try to precertify it we are told that in fact, that provider is not in network. Does anyone at that company have a clue what they are doing? I think not.
I used to work for AEtna US Healthcare. Our calls were monitored for accurate information and people who gave out wrong information were let go. We took pride in assisting our customers and supervisor requests were handled IMMEDIATELY and with good results. Shame on you United Healthcare.
You exemplify what is wrong with health care in this country. I will do everything in my power to see you are not my healthcare provider next year.

Monday, February 09, 2009

Grumpy Old Men

Update on "Mr. Mean"
At work we are on teams. I spoke to several of the people on his team who told me that they have all let him have it on numerous occassions for his comments to them. I am now wondering if perhaps he is trying to chastise someone else the way he has been chastised by some of his team members. The thing of it is, as one lady put it "he has issues." I have made up my mind the next time he tries to speak with me I am going to tell him that I find him very rude and offensive. While I try hard to be at peace with everyone I will not allow him to speak to me in a rude or offensive manner. Thank you all for your comments!

Yikes today I had a coworker who is in his 60s really get under my skin. I am a pretty happy go lucky person in general. This guy was a diabetic (he kept reminding coworkers constantly) and when I found out I was diabetic I mentioned it to him. The other day he is getting off the elevator with two of the biggest donuts I have ever seen. At lunchtime I saw him eating two huge pieces of the thick crust pizza. I wondered to myself what kind of diabetes he has because it must not be the kind where carbs matter. Today he gets in the elevator with me. I had a turkey sandwich in a wrap for lunch. He had his usual lunch of what would be two meals for me. He tells me I should really lose weight. He goes on to say I am too heavy for my height. Then he says I would be too heavy if I were a giraffe. I just stared in disbelief. This same man has told me that some of the women on his team avoid him like the plague. I am wondering of a tactful way to handle his comments. Of course he has no tact, but I never lower myself to someone else's level. I try to bring them up to mine when at all possible. This same man was selling candles for his church group last Fall and I purchased the most of anyone else there. My one friend said she thinks he actually thinks he is funny. Sadly, I agree with her. I don't want to spend a lot of time on what I want to say but I want to have something prepared for the next time he is so rude. Any ideas?

Thursday, February 05, 2009

Feeling Better

It's getting late and I need my beauty sleep so this will be a quick post.....
I got all my diabetic supplies and am on my way to dealing with this. I am taking a pill twice a day , doing testing to see what my level is and I am eating almost no carbs. Later I won't be as careful probably but right now I have myself on a strict regimen. I am going to see a nutritionist as well. Today I had eggs for breakfast, baked fish and some squash for lunch, chicken and corn for dinner. Yes, I know corn is high in carbs. That was it for the day though.
I am surprisingly more energetic. I have only been on the medicine since Tuesday and I already feel a surge in my energy. Last night we shut the cat out of the bedroom and I actually slept from 10:30 until 6:30 a.m. It was heaven. I am hoping I can repeat that for several nights. It is bitter cold. Our bedroom is over the garage and it gets cold with the door shut. It's still worth it though for a good night's sleep. Tomorrow is a weekend again. The week flew by. Am hoping to take my love out for a nice dinner over the weekend for his birthday. He has a beautiful cake here but I am not eating it. I will post a pic another time. It was lovely.
Good night, sweet dreams to all of you and smile, the weekend is almost here.

Tuesday, February 03, 2009


I met Rob nearly nine years ago it was Feb. 13th to be exact. We had been in the same chat room on AOL for two years prior to that and had slowly gotten to know each other. He asked for my number and we talked on the phone and he sent snail mail letters. I finally drove up to Rhode Island to meet him when his father was in his final days of battling bone cancer. Right away I could see he was a magical Leprechaun and I never felt so comfortable in my life with anyone. I had just ended a long marriage and I knew the last thing in the world I wanted was to have another husband. I made sure I told Rob that on our first date. His response was that was fine with him because he never wanted to get married. We got married in August of 2002 and he was ready before that. Rob has seen me through a lot. I'm not always the easiest person to deal with but he manages. I think I'll keep him.
Happy Birthday Baby and I wish you many more. Over the years I hope you will see all your hopes and dreams come true. You are loved.