Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Learning Not to Speak

I am a very open and honest person. Sometimes I just say whatever comes to mind. That has come back to kick me in the rear end more than once. I have learned recently that there are people who like to repeat such things and take great delight in doing so. I have never been one who has enjoyed hurting or embarassing others so this is foreign to me. I am now starting to wonder if sharing thoughts is what I want to do as freely as I have in the past.

I am going through a lot of soul searching. Trying to figure things out which I thought I had already done. Trying to understand what motivates people, or not.

Last week I had some very frustrating things happen. At times like this I feel that perhaps I should delete my blog for my own safety.

My son came for Mother's Day with some thoughtful books he had bought for me. I did a lot of gardening the past few days. I take great pleasure in the planting and viewing the end product. I find peace in my participation with nature. Once things begin to grow I will take some pictures.


alphawoman said...

I am cloaked behind anonymity and I still look over my shoulder. I never told anyone about my blog other than my sister Peggy, who I am not sure ever paid it a visit. My husband, on the other hand, told his daughters when he was so proud when I received the editors nod (can it be three years ago already!!) and it has totally changed everything. They have been able to follow me to Blogger. Pls. don't stop...maybe go private, I believer you can do that with blogger.

jennifer said...

Go private instead, before deciding anything. But I totally understand what you're saying.

Unfortunately there seem to be people who take delight in taking and twisting the honest words of other people to fill some need for self-validation. Sad, but it's a reality. And it certainly has a chilling effect on the rest of us.

jennifer said...

it worked!

Judith HeartSong said...

Oh Nelle.... and there are some bad eggs here, bad eggs that followed us from aol. I am so sorry that you are going through something and am right here if you need anything.

Big hugs today,