Learning Requires Patience

Today brought to the conclusion the ordeal of a buyer I have been working with for four months. It is ironic to me that this person was in sales because they have shown the least consideration for my work of anyone I have dealt with thus far. I had to tell him at one point that I worked solely on commission. He wanted me to show his wife every single house for sale in our entire county. When he came he wanted me to show him anything that interested her.
He then systematically vetoed what she liked. All the while he was telling me that it was HER choice. I came close to piercing my tongue with my teeth this past week. I was pleasant and polite throughout even when he behaved in what I felt was insulting behavior. In the end he has chosen to buy something that he saw on the ONE day that I did not take them out when he wanted to go. What he is buying is a very poor investment and something that his wife does not want but he is pushing upon her. If she doesn't take that she will be in a rented room in someone else's house. I feel sorry for her to an extent. I feel sorry for myself at times but I have learned a valuable lesson. Early on I felt no loyalty from these people. I should have not continued to work with them, allowing my time and finances to be consumed by them. I take responsibility for that. I really thought once they got to know the kind of person that I am they would appreciate my honesty and integrity. He did thank me for all my efforts and told me he was very frustrated and knew I had to be. Of course, he felt this rested with his wife. I have to let this go and move on, taking from it knowledge. It was a hard lesson to learn. What is hardest is not to lose my confidence. I did a good job. As I told him I cannot demand loyalty, I can only hope that one gives it freely and appreciates what I do for them.
It's a beautiful day here today. Has been for several days running. I decided to treat myself to a bit of shopping. The Pier 1 outlet relocated and it was a treasure hunt to find the new place. Sadly, the new place is fancy like the store and the fabulous bargains were no longer to be found.
I think I did better in the regular store with the sale prices actually.
I had a bad night last night tossing and turning. I am going to have a little nap now. Sometimes we have to be gentle with ourselves.

The healing balm of friendship

This has been a rough week for Rob. His sister left the hospital and within 24 hours had to be readmitted. She is undergoing cranial radiation that has her brain swelling and has her very ill.
The problem is that if she does not have the radiation the tumor will be back quickly. They fear if she does continue though she is running a risk of paralysis from damage. What a choice to make. She has chosen to continue with the radiation even though her mother is strongly opposed. My m i l asked the doctor would he have his daughter radiated like this and he answered he would not want to. She has the power of attorney and is struggling with what to do. I am glad not to have to make those decisions. Unfortunately I do not believe my sister-in-law now down to 70 lbs. and heavily medicated can make sound decisions on her own. While we can only listen and offer emotional support we are all hurting on the sidelines.

Last night, after nearly five years Rob heard from his estranged best friend. I believe that karma knew Rob needed something good to happen. His best friend really hurt him when he failed to show up as best man for our wedding. The night before he went out on a drinking bender that lasted for days. We were aware at the time that his wife and he were having some serious problems. That lead to him drinking way too much which caused other problems.
I would not be discussing this here, but my journal is private and I trust those who have access to read it. When he called he left a lengthy message asking both of us to forgive him. He went on to say that if we couldn't he would understand. That really touched me. I played the message for Rob and at first he was reluctant to call him back. Five years is a long time to wait for an explanation. I asked him to just listen to what he had to say and then to make a decision. His friend cried over and over as he told him all of the problems he had been experiencing. His wife left him and he took his two sons and had to go stay with his parents in Florida. I knew right away that Rob would forgive him, as would I. He asked to speak to me and asked my forgiveness. It is easy to give when someone demonstrates real sincerity as he did. All is alright now and now as we face the problems with Jen, Rob has a friend who truly understands. His friend's father has cancer as well. Life is strange but sometimes just when we need them our friends surface and just their voice can be soothing. I was thinking about when Rob's Dad died. This friend was there for every minute of that time dispensing hugs to his entire family. Friends and relationships are never perfect because as human beings we fail sometimes. The thing is that when the relationship is based on the good stuff we accept those failings and we forgive....just as we hope to be forgiven when we mess up. I am happy for Rob and since his friends are my friends too, a bit for myself.

Realtor woes and frustrations

Yesterday I spent the morning hours repeating the tour of homes I had made the previous day with just the hubby. This time the wife (who I have shown about fifty homes to) joined us. Hubby finally convinced her to put in an offer but having been told by a BANKER that he should not make any offer that he was not embarassed to make, he made an offer that was so low that it was immediately turned down. He decided he will not consider another offer but will instead go after cheaper properties (although he LOVES this and in truth could afford it.) OKay............
now we will be going through this again. I must say it does not make sense to me to pay less to buy a home that is cheaper if it is not what you truly like. Wife likes the other home very much though and I am hoping that I can talk them into coming up a bit so they might get this one.
Interesting what motivates people. To me when I see a home I know I would want to live in, price is very much secondaring PROVIDING I can afford it. Other people fall in love with a home they can't afford, but find a way to give up enough to make that dream come true. I think I am too prudent to do that but I admire those who can. I have a busy day today. I am showing a potential buyer a home this morning (someone driving here from Maryland because this Victorian home he heard about is a MUST SEE) and writing a new contract then answering phones in the office for an hour and a half. So glad Sunday will be a day of rest. I need it!

If you love older homes, I have the most beautiful home, with a historic plaque, been on many tours: Christmas, gardening etc. on a main street of a small town just reduced to $400,000.
Honestly, it's a great buy! The yard is amazing.

A New Idol

I am not surprised that Jordin Sparks won tonight. She is lovely and I think her mother is breathtaking. Her Dad contributed to her good looks as well. I thought tonight's finale was really entertaining and one of my all time favorites made an appearance, The Divine Miss M. I will never forget way back when when I first saw Bette Midler. OH I fell in love with the persona.
I played that album until I wore it out. She was over the top. I imagined what it must be like to be her. At the time I was about twenty I think with a baby. I just couldn't imagine being her with her fabulous voice and campy wardrobe. She was the bomb. She is still stunning and she's got a few years on me. I loved her skirt. She always carries a few p0unds more than most people in show biz but I think she is still sexy. Bette you rock!

I made a visit to my internist this afternoon. I have an ear infection. He told me I had some wax in the ear too and he wanted to remove it so I could put drops into it for the pain, in addition to oral antibiotics. That push of warm water really got the ache pushed into high gear. I was hoping removing some wax would return my hearing but it didn't. The antibiotics will do that, soon I hope. At least I am hoping I will have less pain tonight when I lay my head down.
I hope I have that rare dream where I am The Divine Miss M. (My maiden name began with M. For many years my last initial was R and my initials were NCR, as in National Cash Register. Once again I have an M as my last initial. I like that. I have reclaimed my M and it feels good.

You give medicine a bad name

I have really been slacking off when it comes to taking care of my health. The other day I realized that although I was diagnosed with glaucoma some ten years ago, I have not seen my specialist in over a year! I usually go every four months. It has been very much under control. I take a visual field test once a year and then use drops daily. I was supposed to use two different drops and then when my pressure remained the same, I only used one. That is not typical of me but what is even worse is that I have not used any in several months. When I realized this I called the doctor and made an appointment for the first week of June so I can get back on track.
I'm far too responsible to be doing something like this! Being busy just is no excuse.

Two days ago I laid down on a pillow in my guest room and began to feel my head congest. I looked at the pillow and it was covered in cat hair. Since then I have remained congested but yesterday afternoon my ear began to hurt. It feels like someone is playing bongos in there and I can't hear out of it. The right part of my head feels like it's full of congestion. I called the doctor and made an appointment for this afternoon. I hope the ear is not infected as I have never had an ear infection in my life. It is a peculiar feeling.

My sister-in-law Jennifer arrives home from the hospital today. She is weak and will need some physical rehab which they will do in her home. Right now they believe they have gotten all the tumor and bought her some real time. I am cautiously optomistic. My mother-in-law is so happy. Her birthday is June 1st. I have prepared a nice box of things to send her including a soft and cozy robe. Noticed when we were there hers was very worn. It came with a small lap throw that matched the robe. In New England you often have some chill in the air and I am sure she will put it to good use.

Happy Anniversary

Today is the anniversary of the joining ceremony of two wonderful women

Judi and Virginia

Wishing you two the best always

and many more years of bliss.

Hugs, hugs and more hugs to you both today!

Trying to Hang in There

I have been on an emotional roller coaster today. Trying to decide whether or not real estate is my bag, so to speak. My area is flooded with agents. The buyers seem to have little to none loyalty and the couple I spent the last four months working with went out on their own last week on the ONE day I was not available (despite that I gave them four other days that week.)
Now they think they will buy something they saw with another agent. They think they will use her to write the contract despite me showing them over fifty homes. This really irks me. I was told by other agents that I am "too nice." I just don't know how to be any other way than the way that I am. Or maybe I know but I don't want to be any other way. Not sure about that.

I do know that four months have gone by where I am constantly filling my car with gas, paying to attend seminars and have nothing to show for it.

Open Houses

Today I did an open house. It was the kind that make you wonder if you ever want to do another one. WE blow up balloons at work and today everyone was late and there were half a dozen people waiting. I had to jump in when I got a chance and blow up my dozen or so. I then jumped in the car and drove half an hour to the town where I had to plant a half dozen signs in strategic places. (Literally at times jumping out of the car at a red light to plant a sign with balloons attached to it.) I then make my way to the house where I find this sweet elderly couple. Couldn't have been any nicer but the gentleman was cold this morning and had cranked his heat up to 80. It was 80 outside now and I think the house was pushing 90. The air was so stuffy I don't think any windows have been opened in the last few years, seriously. They did a quick run through of their home, a pretty nice home actually but needed updating. There was also way too much furniture in each room making each one seem small and hard to navigate through. They left and only a disappointing three people came to view it. I was awake early this morning and it was hard to stay awake! Thankfully I had bought a bottle of water with me. At some point I had to open the front door and let some fresh air blow into my lungs. Finally........it was time to go.I was elated. Reversed the order of the signs, picking them up and headed home. I had only had a bowl of cereal early this morning and was starving. I am exhausted.I am still trying to figure out why someone who hangs their clothes out back so they smell fresh never opens their windows. I meet so many people and the more I meet the more I realize what a vast variety of people there are in the world. I like that. I enjoy the characters that come through. I enjoy meeting new people. I guess I will be up for another open house when the time rolls around. Especially when I come home to a nice clean house. The laundry I started early this morning was finished and put away and I had a nice fresh kitchen floor to walk on. The simple things in life that make me happy...going barefoot on a clean kitchen floor.Maybe I can catch a quick nap before viewing my Sunday night programs. Hope you had a good weekend.

Jealousy

This week I have been giving a lot of thought to jealousy. That is the word my mother likes to use about the members of my family. There are five children in my family. The oldest and youngest brothers were given two acres of valuable land, one had a farm house on it which was restored (with my father providing his labor and an interest free loan). My other brother was set up in a trucking business which my father bankrolled. This business went belly up. From the time I could walk, my oldest brother quickly made sure I was in his shadow. He always screamed the loudest, throwing tantrums while I was the passive child. He was physically abusive at times and once punched me so hard that I had a bloody nose for hours. I was six at the time. My parents always justified what he did. For a time he became an alcoholic and was just about to lose his wife and two young boys when she forced him to sober up. At that point he became a born again zealot. My parents ate that up. Just a few short years ago he forged my father's name on a legal document so that when he chose to sell the house that my father had virtually given him, he could wave the clause saying my father had to agree to the sale. He made a handsome profit on that deal. My sister and I were always told that we had married well and that we didn't need my parents help. That certainly changed for both of us. My sister has been separated from her abusive husband for eight years and their divorce will be final any day. She looses her support now that her daughter graduates from college this weekend. I gave up alimony when I married the man I love. We both struggle. Despite the change in situations, my parents still justify every thing they do which is only to benefit two of their sons. You would think my mother, being a woman would want to support her daughters. My mother is uneducated. She has never read a book from cover to cover. She only worked one year of her life and then her aunt was her boss. She has never grocery shopped, my father has always done that. He pays the bills. While this may sound like he is controlling, she puts her foot down whenever it suits her. Case in point: my father owns another large piece of land. I was told that if I became an agent, I could list and sell this land. My father offered me MORE than the commission I would charge. This was one of the reasons I got into real estate. As soon as I was able to list it, my mother flatly refused to sign the listing papers. I am still shocked. Later she said that my father had promised to sell that piece of land (cheaply) to my one brother. She plans to do that when something happens to my father. The ONE TIME my father was going to do something for me, she vetoed it. Now, I ask myself, do I feel jealous of my brothers? I do not. I feel resentful. Over the years, I have come to the realization that it is not my brother's fault. It is my parents fault. Who is going to tell their parents not to give them things because it is unfair to their siblings? There might be a few people out there who would do it, but I don't think most people would.

There were two people in my lives that really turned my eyes green. The monster of jealousy possessed me for ahwile. Those were my first love and later my ex husband. I have given a lot of thought to that. After much thought, I realize what it was that made me so jealous. It was insecurity. Although they both professed great love, I always felt that they had one foot out the door so to speak. My first love told me daily how beautiful I was. When we were out I would watch other girls look at him. Once one gave him her phone number in front of me. I knew he was curious about what it would be like to be with other girls sexually. Finally, I broke up with him because I anticipated that curiousity to overwhelm him at some point. Now, being the person that I am with maturity, I know he would never have acted on that.
My ex husband never spoke about other women until after we were married. At that point I began to hear all about the many women he had slept with. That really wounded me. I began to anticipate the time when he would leave. Once I found pictures, like trophies, in his closet.
I became so insecure that I battled depression on and off for years. He had a seizure which wiped out his memory of recent years and instead of reciting the lies I had heard, I now learned the truth about many things. At that point I began to realize what a lie our relationship had been. Finally, I could take no more and had to get out. For my self preservation. The jealousy went away because I was on my own and finally starting to rebuild my self esteem, bit by bit.
At that point I met Rob. Rob only builds me up. He has never done or said anything to make me feel insecure or jealous. I trust him. That's a great feeling.
So my conclusion is that jealousy comes from insecurity. Since I have never felt security with my parents in any way shape or form, perhaps I am jealous of my siblings but I don't think so.
Even though my parents have quickly repeated things to stir up trouble, I am quick to call them all and set things straight. I don't believe any of them have issues with me, if they do I have never given them any cause to. This week I wrote my mother a lengthy email and tried to explain this to her. I asked her to stop talking about me with siblings and asked her TO help my sister-in-law rather than blaming me for not helping her. When I look at my mother's life I pity her. She has no friends, a family who is constantly battling, and in her words "one of the worst marriages she knows of." On the other hand, this is the life she chose. For years she blamed her five children for her misery. In truth, she took the easy way out for herself. Perhaps in the end what seemed to be so easy wasn't. I'm just glad my sister and I are so opposite of the example we saw in her. We were forced to become strong women and we have.

Thank you friends........

I have received such great comments and some private emails as well. Thank you so much for all the support. I think it's even freeing for people who want to post comments. I strongly feel that Google should not be a search for journal comments. Don't they have more important topics to spend time on?

I have a busy day today. On Thursday we have "brokers open houses" which are the best part of being a realtor. The listing agent opens the home up and serves lunch to other realtors. It's a great thing to do for the homeowner because then if I have actually seen the house I am more likely to remember it and be able to discuss it with potential buyers in greater detail. I try to do 2 a week so that I am current on the inventory out there. The delicious Chinese food often served is just a bonus. I am also answering phones at the office tonight on the late shift. I bring other paper work in case it's slow and we have computers we can work on. There is always something to do. Once I make a connection with someone I like to send them a friendly reminder periodically to let them know I have not forgotten them.

On the homefront my sister-in-law Jennifer is still in the hospital. We are hopeful her body can tolerate the radiation they are giving. She is very weak but they feel the only hope to give her the year they are trying to give her is to get the area irradiated before the tumor has a chance to grow back. My mother-in-law has had to take a leave of absence from work to deal with all of this. We are trying to send thoughtful cards and notes to all three of them as well as frequent phone calls. My mother-in-law had internet service put in yesterday so we are hoping to be able to email her. We feel guilty at being so far away and guilty a bit for being relieved that we don't have to live it up close day in and day out. It's such a hard thing to deal with. Rob was there and lived it with his father. I fear my mother-in-law will fall apart at a later time when she has the luxury of time to think and let it all sink in.

Whew I can breathe again..........

I have decided, upon the advice of some trusted friends here, to make my blog available only to certain viewers. That way I can say anything I like, feeling that if you are invited to be here, you are friend, not foe.

The past few months have been so stressful for me and I absolutely have to unwind. Making a blog, screen name and email with my actual name, (PREVIOUS TO USING IT FOR BUSINESS) was a mistake in hindsight. People have googled my name and read blog comments and it has been passed on to me that is why I was not hired for jobs that they otherwise loved me for.
As a real estate agent some people (as well as other agents) go to great lengths to try to cause problems for people. In the real estate world I carry insurance, much like malpractic insurance.
There are state and federal guidelines I must be careful to follow. If I do not, I am fined quickly and seriously. I can lose my license even, although I have spent thousands of dollars to be at this point where I am now. The previous business I worked for has warned me, actually asked me to sign legal documents for their secrecy. I had signed a privacy agreement when I was hired and I have, and continue to plan to uphold those confidences. In fact, I felt it was insulting to be asked.
The previous employer was a friend of over twenty years. She admitted that things were not fair to me, asked me how to rectify it and when I told her that I felt it best that I go elsewhere she was furious. It became a personal attack with wild accusations that she could not prove.
In the end nothing that she swore was going to happen did and she looked a bit paranoid.
I stay out of her way, don't even speak to her and I have learned that just four months since I left, she has had to sell the business, unable to shoulder the burden of it any longer. That certainly felt like validation to me. I am not a bitter person. I am far from perfect and I know thaqt others err as well. Fine, no problem but I have a problem with having lies told about me.
I feel that I am honest and with integrity. I think when I worked in a business for a year and a half and that was seen on a daily basis, it is absurd to claim otherwise.

I have tried to move on forging a new business in the neighboring town where I live. It has been difficult because our area is dense with realtors. Many are honest and there are others who my one friend refers to as "sharks". They will steal your clients in a heartbeat. I have only met one or two of them so count myself lucky. I have a few buyers I have been working with. It's a bit difficult because it takes time to learn what they really like and do not like. Often they think they like something but reality shows otherwise. It is not uncommon to have first time home buyers want a mansion. Of course it would have to be priced at about half the actual value!
Sometimes it takes months for people to see that they have to be realistic about their budget.
All the while you are waiting for the reality to set in, you must be patient and gently lead them towards that revelation. Some agents have shown people homes for over a year before they found one they liked. We can be talking as high as one hundred homes! Mind you, this is with gas prices ever climbing and realtors work on commission only in my area. You work hard for every dollar you earn. The more diligent you are, the more that is true.

I am not sure if I have the financial means, unless I get more clients to stay with this. I do like people, I really do. I love introducing people to a house they love. I love helping people, even when they are a bit difficult. I am hoping I can hang in there and go the distance. Right now I have a referral in the works (thank you to my cousin in Maryland) and I have people who I believe are ready to write a contract in the next ten days. So.......progress is happening just not at the pace I had hoped for. I keep telling myself patience is a virtue. I guess I am not too virtuous......well that's another post.

Learning Not to Speak

I am a very open and honest person. Sometimes I just say whatever comes to mind. That has come back to kick me in the rear end more than once. I have learned recently that there are people who like to repeat such things and take great delight in doing so. I have never been one who has enjoyed hurting or embarassing others so this is foreign to me. I am now starting to wonder if sharing thoughts is what I want to do as freely as I have in the past.

I am going through a lot of soul searching. Trying to figure things out which I thought I had already done. Trying to understand what motivates people, or not.

Last week I had some very frustrating things happen. At times like this I feel that perhaps I should delete my blog for my own safety.

My son came for Mother's Day with some thoughtful books he had bought for me. I did a lot of gardening the past few days. I take great pleasure in the planting and viewing the end product. I find peace in my participation with nature. Once things begin to grow I will take some pictures.

A Mother's Day Lament...........

I know it's Mother's Day and many people will sing the virtues of their mothers. How I envy those people. How I envy my sister-in-law who is so ill but has a mother ever by her side and helping her in every way.

Throughout my life I have had inner conflict. Being taught by society and by church school that I should honor, obey and have my mother on a pedestal. Her mother has her on one. Throughout life I have always felt unsupported, a second class person compared to my brothers, and unworthy of any of my parents financial support which my brother's freely received. I do not blame my brothers. It is not their fault. It is the fault of my parents. My mother played a game which I only recently came to understand. It's pitting all of her children against each other. Recently she did another one of these acts. When I inquired about it from a sister-in-law she told me that my mother had told her that she couldn't come to her house after her surgery because her daughters were so jealous of her. This was almost laughable because my mother never came to my house and helped me when I had cancer or open heart surgery. Now she chooses to put that blame on her daughters as opposed to being honest and saying "I don't want to help you." She has never said that to me either. She just let me get out of her car after my radiation treatments, carrying my then three year old son and drove off leaving me there to be deathly ill for the next many hours alone with a toddler. She wouldn't take me for those treatments unless I gave her money for gas and treated her for food. At the time I was barely making ends meet. I am hoping writing about this will free me from some of the pain I have carried for years over this. It took me awhile to understand that this was not my fault.
I wanted it to be my fault because that meant I didn't have an uncaring mother. When my mother was recently ill I did a lot to help her. It doesn't matter what I ever do. It will never be reciprocated.

So today when I think of mothers I feel cheated. That is the honest truth. Yesterday I went out to my mailbox and there was a beautiful card with some money in it from my mother-in-law.
I am not a mother of her grandchildren. It was a motherly gesture that touched my heart.
I will never forget watching her with her daughter last weekend. I went through that with my son some many years ago. I am happy to say that I am not the type of mother that my mother has been to me. I have made sacrifices for my child and never regretted it. I cannot control who my mother was, only what kind of mother I am.

To all the mothers who made their children (biological or otherwise) or granchildren feel loved or cared for I salute you. Happy Mother's Day.

Finally.........some wonderful news

This is my husband, Rob and myself with our beloved niece, Cassie.

Last night I got a phone call with some great news. The doctors were able to remove nearly all of the tumor in my sister-in-law's skull. After eight hours of surgery they did an MRI which showed a small piece remaining near her neck. They are going back in this morning to remove that. She had told me that if they were able to get it all they felt she would go at least a year before a recurrence. They will radiate her head in a few short days to further prevent it's return. I am at least enjoying some good news and once again feeling hopeful. Another year is a wonderful thing to have with your child. I cannot wait until she is well enough to view the video we made of her daughter that day.

The sun is shining and the birds are singing and my heart is filled with gratitude and hope.

It's a grand feeling. Last night I went to see a woman who is going to have me list her house and find her and her children a new home. She was a beautiful soul and I look forward to working with her. It seems like things are going well all the way around. I have a full day today.

I will be going to have the pictures I took of the home put into a portfolio to show. I have much to do but it's all exciting and today my mind can be at ease for the first time in months.

Pretty as a Picture

This was the angel, our niece on her special day last Saturday. I had the priviledge of getting her dressed.

Her Mom was able to attend a brief part of the service. When we returned home she was feeling poorly and had to return to bed. The morphine which is necessary for the pain had her sick to her stomach. A large turnout of family was present and the sisters of her grandmother provided a wonderful luncheon. I have to say that my mother-in-law has an unusually generous and loving family. I found myself being envious of that. Her brothers were working on her sump pump and dehumidifier and put a new handle on the toilet. Her sisters chipped in for food and prepared it and were constantly offering her emotional support. On Sunday there was a May parade at the church where Cassie had to wear her dress again. We let my mother-in-law go and we stayed to "babysit" the patient and we cleaned a bit. I felt guilty as she thanked us for every little thing we did. I felt like there was so much more we should be doing.

Today my sister-in-law is having more surgery. She looked so very feeble that I had a hard time understanding why they could not wait. Her tumor has grown to four times the size it was. That is why they had to go in quickly. It is heartbreaking to watch her go through this.

At least her daughter had her there for the day. That was what we had all hoped for. I just wish she could have enjoyed the celebration. Sometimes life is hard and this is one of these times. It's hard to know what to do or say. As weak as she was when Jen opened her eyes and saw us she thanked us for coming, apologized for sleeping through our visit and told us she loved us. We told her that we were happy to see her, she needed sleep to regain her stength and we loved her. We can only offer support and prayers and hope that will make some difference.

Wednesday at the Looney Bin

Today I took a much needed day off. I have been going nonstop since last Tuesday.

Firstly I decided to clean off my desk top. I am organizing things and I have more papers than I could ever explain. Forms for everything. I then went outside and dared to open my trunk.

All kinds of papers get put in there. I carry two boxes in it. One for open house items and another for listing presentation/seller items. They both needed a thorough sorting and they got it. I then noticed I was not thrilled with my profile and I tweeked that. I think it came out pretty well. I am having trouble with my printer jamming. I have purchased many different weights of paper and it just pulls in several pieces at once. I think I may have to purchase another one.

This weekend is the long awaited communion for our niece. It will be bittersweet. We are heading up on Friday morning. At the same time my mother-in-law will be heading up to Boston to pick up my sister-in-law. She will be home for the weekend, unless problems arise which mean she will return to the hospital. Next week on the 8th she will be having another major surgery trying to remove the 1/3 of the tumor they didn't get last time. Right now she cannot even walk with a walker. It will be difficult to get her in and out of the church. I am planning to take a video at the house and many pictures so her daughter will never forget this special day.

I just hope nothing prevents her Mommy from being there but there is always that possibility.

I have purchased many things that I give away to my clients. Among them was a card that had the "Ten Commandments for Pet Owners". I love it so much I wanted to share it here. Anyone who has ever had a pet will relate to it.

1. My life is likely to last 10-15 years. Any separation from you will be very painful.

2. Give me time to understand what you want from me. Do not break my spirit with your temper, thought I will always forgive you. Your patience will beach me more effectively.

3. Please have me spayed or neutered.

4. Treat me kindly, my beloved friend, for no heart in all the world is more grateful for your kindness than mine. Don't be angry with me for long, and don't lock me up as punishment. After all, you have your job, your friends, your entertainment. I only have you.

5. Speak to me often. Even though I don't understand your words, I understand your voice when it's speaking to me. Your voice is the sweetest sound I ever hear, as you must know by my enthusiasm whenever I hear your footsteps.

6. Take me in when it's cold and wet. I'm a domestic animal and am no longer accustomed to the bitter elements. Keep my bowl filled with water. Feed me good food so that I may stay well to romp, and play and do your bidding. By your side, I stand ready, willing and able to share my life with you, for that is what I live for. I'll never forget how well you've treated me.

7. Don't hit me. Remember, I have teeth that could easily crush the bones in your hand, but I choose not to bite you.

8. Before you scold me for being lazy or uncooperative, ask yourself if something might be bothering me. Perhaps I'm not getting the right food, have been out in the sun too long or my heart may be getting weak.

9. Take care of me when I get old. You will grow old, too.

10. When I am old, or when I no longer enjoy good health,please do not make heroic efforts to keep me going. I am not having fun. Just see to it that my trusting life is taken gently. Be with me on that difficult journey when it's time to say goodbye. Never say "It's too difficult to watch."

Everything is easier for me when you are there. I will leave this earth knowing that with my last breath that my fate was always safest in your hands. I love you.

* in loving memory of Sandie Sheltie Lass, you live in my heart forever and it was a pleasure to be with you for sixteen years, even the last heartbreaking minutes when your suffering ended

It's been two years and I still miss you fluffernutter....and I think I always will*