It's now about 7:30. I am driving and realize that I have missed the turn off. I call Rob from my cel phone. He told me to get off at the next exit. I did and found the Dunkin Donuts where he came to meet me. He stuck his head in my car. OMG I thought, he's cuter than his pictures! There was one draw back. Since the time he had the pictures taken, he had buzzed his hair. This is something I don't like...on anyone. I think it reminds me of all the times my son's hair fell out while he was on chemo and just began to grow back. We knew that the next round it would fall out again. I noticed Rob had twinkling beautiful blue eyes and a wonderful smile. I followed him to the nearest restaurant, which ended up being our favorite. It was named Chelo's and the fish and chips there are out of this world. If you're ever in Rhode Island you must have them. We pulled into the parking lot and parked next to each other. Went inside and found out we would have a half hour wait for a table. Bar was filled. We sat in the large waiting area....no we stood, standing room only on a Saturday night. When we were seated Rob ordered a beer and I had a margarita. I remember I had a salad and before our food came we heard an announcement. There were two cars blocking other cars and would the owners of license plates.....move them. They were OUR license plates and we got up to move our cars. When we walked outside we were really laughing because we realized that in our nervous haste we had made a new row which blocked in the row that were ahead of us. We reparked and walked inside to find that the waitress had tossed Rob's beer. Rob explained that this was a serious sin and she replaced it. Now after having inhaled my drink, and with the car chaos, my head was spinning. (Some months later we learned that the car blocked in was Rob's Uncle Bob's car which made it even funnier.) I began to feel a tad anxious and Rob smiled, winked at me and said "relax." When my salad came I inhaled it. Rob was telling me that he was house sitting for a friend and he would have to go attend to the dalmations before he could lead me to the hotel where I would be staying. We had a pleasant dinner, with wonderful conversation and sometime during it a little voice in my head said "Your plan was to be independent and FREE. Danger Will Robinson! Danger!" I ignored the voice and followed Rob to his friend's house.
I remember getting out of the car to find that the yard was a sheet of ice. While there wasn't even snow on the ground when I left, Rhode Island was covered with snow and ice and bitter cold. We got into the house and Rob took care of the dogs. The house was tiny but so comfortable. We began to talk and for the first time in my life, I pulled a man close to me. Rob sensed that I was afraid and he did nothing but follow my leads. In hindsight, had he been any different I would have bolted. From the start, it's as though he could sense my fears and needs and act accordingly. We spent a wonderful night there talking, laughing and snuggling. In the morning he had to work and I followed him to the hotel where I checked in. I called my friend Anne and told her that I feared I was liking him too much. She laughed and told me that was a good thing. I called my son and told him that I really liked Rob too. I took a shower and a nap and eagerly awaited Rob to return from work so we could go out. We went out to dinner and came back to have drinks in the hotel pub. It was a fabulous place with a huge roaring fire. The most romantic place imagineable. Often we would come here again. We spent the rest of the weekend getting to know each other. On Monday morning, Valentine's Day Rob had to go to work. We ordered room service and had a nice breakfast before saying goodbye. I wasn't sure when we would see each other again but I knew that we would.
Rob said goodbye and I got packed and hit the road to come home. I called my friend Anne while driving home. "I'm in trouble" I said. "Stop being so afraid."
As I was almost home Rob called my cel phone. He asked me if I had looked in my makeup bag. I hadn't. He told me to check it as soon as I got in the door. Inside he had put a silver Celtic knotwork ring. It was nice and I put it on my hand and wore it for the next year or so.
When I returned to work everyone commented that I was glowing. I told them about meeting Rob. They were shocked that someone I had met in a chat room seemed to be such a good thing. Several women cautioned me that it wouldn't last. It didn't matter. The night Rob and I had dinner for the first time I had told him. "I will NEVER get married again. It's taken me years to get out of the first mistake and I'm still finalizing things." Rob replied that was good because he never wanted to get married. I felt safe knowing that neither of us wanted that. I felt like we were just going to have a wonderful relationship and there was no pressure. I wasn't going to put my heart out there to be broken and neither was Rob. We were just going to take it slow and enjoy ourselves.
When I arrived home I sat the ex down and told him that he had stalled the divorce for long enough. I wasn't comfortable dating other people while he was still living in the house. I had been saving money for the retainer for the lawyer. I had wanted to file for divorce six months earlier but no lawyer would file without the $2600 retainer.They also advised me I needed to build credit in MY name. Once the legal proceedings were underway I lost all my credit cards and until the divorce was final I would have to survive on my meeger income. I bit the bullet and filed. I had been worried about my son's reaction but I had moved into the guest room over a year earlier and he understood. It was only a matter of legally ending it. Instead of cooperating my ex made if very difficult by hiring and firing attorneys. Each time he hired a new one, he got 90 days to delay. He did this twice. My divorce should have been final in May but he delayed it until September. He didn't want the house but he didn't want to move out. I offered to let him buy me out, hand me a check and I would go. He finally (under sheriff's order) vacated. I really needed that time to think things through. For the first time in my life I was on my own. I was sleeping in my house alone and if I wanted ice cream for dinner, so be it. It was rough financially....having built my credit the previous six months I was now using it. The ex gave me no money and I was charging everything. I soon realized that I would have to sell the house to make it on my own. That was okay because I was loving my new freedom. I was forty five years old and for the FIRST TIME I was in charge of my life. What a feeling. To make things even better, I had someone who seemed to really care about me. Still, when I was swept away by those feelings, there was always the part of me who remembered my previous feelings of despair, who vowed that this would never happen to me again. That little voice in my head was ever present.
"Love makes your soul crawl out from it's hiding place." ~ Zora Neale Hurston
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