Weary Wednesday

When I got up this morning I was tired and was reluctant to go to work but I did. When I arrived my computer was not working and I had to borrow a coworkers to log in for the day. I then used another coworker's computer all day. It didn't have my links in it and there were several snags, including the tiny font when I have mine the largest it can be. They offered for some of us to leave early without pay and I put in to leave two hours early thinking I could get to the hospital and have my monthly blood test. I arrived and it was quickly done. As I left the hospital I called my mother and invited her to dinner telling her I would go to the rehab with her afterwards. A few short minutes later she called back saying they had taken my father to the ER of the hospital I had just left. His heartbeat was weak and he was unresponsive. I turned my car around and in about seven minutes I was running into the ER. They sent me back to the acute care part and told me he was in room 3. When I arrived I saw a bag with his clothes in it and he was not in the room. My heart began to pound when I found a nurse and she told me that HIS nurse accompanied him for a CT scan. I have never heard of a nurse staying with a patient for a radiology test. After about half an hour, his wonderful nurse, Charlotte and he came back. One glance told me he had suffered another stroke, seemingly worse than the first. He cannot say more than yes or no now. His voice is incredibly weak and for the first three hours his heart rate was about 35. I was very concerned. They did determine he had another stroke and slowly his heart rate went up to about 60 by the time we left. It is nearly 11 and I am exhausted, mentally and physically. Unless there is a dramatic improvement I don't see that he will able to return home. Tonight I prayed that he would get a lot better or that he would go to sleep and not wake up again. I don't want him to suffer and I know that he would never want a life without quality. I am hoping for the best, but preparing for the worst. This kind of thought pattern has gotten me through some bad times before. I don't know how I will make it through two more work days this week but I must.