Thursday, May 14, 2009

A Shadow of a Man

I am still here. Going to work each day. Leaving a few hours early some days to be with my mother at the nursing home. Knowing that I am losing my father and my grandmother at the same time. Trying to show them both all the love and support I can. My Dad is slipping more and more away each day. It is sad to see the strong person he was unable to shift his weight or sit upright at times.
I cannot dwell on that. It's about what can be done to make his life a little better right now. We had hoped to bring him home with hospice but right now he is not strong enough to be home without 24/7 medical care. At times like this I cling to my faith. I had bad times. I cry easily but life goes on. Each day I try to find something positive to cling to.
This situation has brought my sister and I much closer. I have been able to spend several weekends with her as we both watch my father and comfort my mother. There is always a silver lining.
For two nights in a row my neighbor Stacey has brought dinner over for us.
I can't tell you how much that meant. It was feeding my spirit as much as my body, although the lasagna was delicious.
Words fail me. It is the best of times (when I am feeling the love). It is the worst of times (feeling the sorrow that is to come).
I am reminded of a scripture from the book of Job in the Bible.
The Lord giveth
The Lord taketh away
Blessed be the name of the Lord.
I am trusting that God hears our prayers and will get us through this.

4 comments:

Susan C said...

You are such a generous, giving person, Nelle. I'm glad that others are helping to nurture you during this tough time.

Missie said...

Sending you lots of hugs. I can't imagine slowly loosing a parent, let alone a parent and another family member at the same time.

hugs....

Sonya said...

Nelle...I know this is hard...it's hard however they go. I lost my Dad quickly as a surprise and that was hard too. It's just hard to let go. Just hang on to every moment and make the best of it...You are right about the silver linings. God finds ways to get us through. He just does. He takes care of His own. And so glad you and your sister have each other.

jennifer said...

I went through this very process with my mother, so I understand everything you're saying. I wish I could offer you more than just support and cyberhugs. Remember to take care of yourself.