The Waiting Game

Yesterday I got a phone call at work to ask my opinion (all five of us kids were polled) about putting a pacemaker in my father. My cardiologist who he used as well told us that while it would prolong his heart he has suffered two strokes and now has considerable weakness in his right side, a part of his brain with no activity and his speech is very imparied. Hope of recovery is slim to none. He probably wouldn't survive the surgery. We made the decision not for him to have it and I was relieved that we all felt this way. We made some other decisions that I know were right, but still were painful to make. At this point he is in heart failure. All we can do is keep him comfortable. He wants to come home and has since the first stroke. IF we can do it, we are going to bring him home. My mother fell apart last night. My sister and I and my youngest brother were there to put her back together.
There is not much more to say. I am on an emotional roller coaster. There are people who all want to control the ride. My father has no idea what is going on. He perhaps is the lucky one right now. I have a vacation day today. The sun is out after several days of rain.