Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Baby it's cold outside

Today Rob stayed home and although I hoped he would stay in bed all day he managed to do some laundry and other things. I got paid today and knowing he was home allowed me some extra time to go to the bank and run a few other errands.
This week my boss is out of town and I have to attempt to figure out how to do my first mail merge at work. Wish me luck. It's from a website, not from a list that I made and I am a bit concerned that I will pull it off.
Tomorrow I get to have my mammogram that they wouldn't allow me to last week because I didn't have the previous films, and a doctor wasn't there. At 8 a.m. when I should just be dragging myself out of bed I will be there trying to be perky. It won't work. Once I am done with that I will head to work and hopefully, I will be more together than I was today. Today I was so concerned about leaving Rob that I left WITHOUT wearing my winter coat! It had to be in the low 30s. I did have on a blazer and a long sleeve turtleneck. I didn't put on boots either. Went out in clogs and went without my lunch. I realized all these things as I arrived at the parking lot at work. Thankfully, I had my notebook that I need for work so everything else was ok. I did manage to run up the block in my blazer for hot soup for lunch. The town that I work in is the county seat and it's decorated so beautifully, but quaintly. I keep meaning to snap some pictures of the Hall of Records. Even the fire house has beautiful wreaths. It's nice to work in a small town. Little cafe's and delis are all around us and directly across the street is the best pizza place. There is another pizza place up the street, Federicis which is very well known for their thin crust pizza. It's incredibly good. Rob was amazed that pizza could be so good, in Rhode Island the pizza leaves a lot to be desired. The family has had this restaurant for over forty years. They say you can't go home again but I do. This is the town that I walked into after high school football games. Somedays as I walk up the street my mind will remember meeting my friends at the diner across the street. Christmas time evokes so many memories.
One of my favorite is when I was just 16. My first love bought me an engagement ring. I opened the box and there it was. It was a magical moment that I will never forget. Later my parents pressured me to break up with him. He had a serious drinking problem and that lead to some physical altercations. I think I was relieved somehow to have an out. Ironically, only a year later I married someone else. My first few years of marriage were haunted by memories of the first love, wondering what might have been. Eventually he married someone else but I never really gave up all hopes that someday we might meet again until I was divorced. I learned that he had lung cancer and was not doing well. He eventually passed away and only then was I able to let him go. I will never forget that Christmas though, or how much he made me feel loved. Enough so that later when my ex made me feel unlovable I was able to hang on to the knowledge that someone else had found me wonderful.
I should be baking cookies but instead I'm going to go watch the Devils play hockey.


jennifer said...

Soup. Ahhh. That sounds good. Maybe you should keep an emergency food supply in your car for the next time you zip out of the house. LOL

Judith HeartSong said...

thinking of you today!

Virginia said...

Hope the mammogram was uneventful and passes with flying colors!

Peace, Virginia