Thursday, May 06, 2010

Mother's Day is Approaching

This will be a difficult Mother's Day for me as it will be my first without my grandmother. My grandmother was the one person who gave unconditional love. Everyone in the family felt it and I learned as she was dying that each of us thought we were the closest to her. She made each one of us feel so special. She might not have liked what we did and she would tell us about it but then just as quickly she would tell us how much she loved us. My grandmother also loved her Heavenly Father. Many times when my faith was shaken to the bone she would tell me that we just didn't/couldn't understand why things happen but God has a reason in his long term plan. To be honest, at times that answer just frustrated me. The thing with my grandma was that she not only believed this, but she lived her life in this way. My grandmother's faith never waivered as the buried her seven siblings, their spouses, her husband and most of her friends. When one of our cousins so many years ago had an interacial marriage my grandmother was the first to tell her that God loved us all, regardless of the color of our skin. She did not judge people as many "religious" people do. Instead she showered all that knew her with love. In the last year of her life she dealt with breast cancer. Although diagnosed earlier it was slow moving until the final year. She faced her illness with dignity and courage, refusing to leave the house she and her husband had built about seventy years earlier. My aunt moved in with her the last nine months and the hospice was there making it possible for her to have her wish. Her home was very small but I assure you it held more love than many mansions. It was filled with her treasures, gifts and pictures of her beloved grandchildren. My Dad was in the Navy for the first ten years of my life and during that time when he shipped out, we often lived with her. Much of what I am I credit her with. I have tried to be the person that she was but those are big shoes to fill. Last week I went into a store and picked up cards for my mother and mother-in-law. I saw the cards that said grandmother on them and it felt like my legs were going to give out from under me. I will never send her another Mother's Day card. I had to remind myself that ever since I could use a crayon, my grandmother received a card on every holiday. As years passed she must have received thousands.

As uaual, my grandmother has given me yet another gift of her love. For several years I planted bleeding heart plants but they never bloomed. She had a beautiful garden and yard and took such pride in her plants. Two years ago when she came she brought me a dozen of her iris. She said they were assorted colors. They never bloomed last year and when i told her, she told me not to be discouraged because she was sure they would bloom this year. When I arrived home from the hospital I found FOUR bleeding heart plants all blooming beautifully. That made my heart smile. Yesterday I walked outside on the pation and guess what I found. The irises (all of them) are going to be blooming soon. They are all going to be lavender or a purple (lavendar was her favorite color.) I feel as though she is still sending her love, through nature.
I know she is at peace and in a better place but I still miss her so. There are so many reminders of her everywhere.

Today will be a busy day. I have to run in one direction to the hospital for a blood test. I will stop and pick up a few groceries and then come home for a few hours. This afternoon I will be going to see the pulmonologist. Yesterday I coughed a lot again and I am hopoing that was a fluke.

I hope all the MOMS out there have a wonderful Mother's Day. A special salute to stepmothers. It's a big undertaking to take on the children of a spouse and I see what many of my friends have gone through. They deserve special recognition.

Stop and notice the beautiful flowers today.


alphawoman said...

Happy early Mothers Day to you!

Missie said...

Happy Mother's Day!

Cynthia said...

A beautiful tribute to an obviously beautiful lady.