Thursday, March 01, 2007

Stop the Noise in my Head

I am struggling with a host of feelings, not of which are good.
Firstly, my sister-in-law got a positive report at the doctor. This comes on the heels of a very negative report. Now I don't know what to think and it angers me that they give any reports without having and weighing all information first. I want to feel relieved but I'm afraid to, at least just yet.

I am finding the pitfalls of my newfound profession. I just don't have the energy to go into it all but it frustrates me to no end that people don't know what they want. You work hard to help them and then they change their mind and have someone else do what they have now decided they want. So, now I will be smarter and the next people will have to commit to me, IN WRITING before I spend my time with them. My time is my opportunity to make money. I deserve loyalty as do they.

I need to be in more than one place this weekend. I cannot clone myself and I will be hurting someone no matter where I am at.

I want to curl up into a ball (just like a cat) and hibernate for at least a week. I didn't sleep last night. The reason is that my neighbor left her cell phone here and didn't know it. She kept calling the cell phone number to find it in her house but it rang in MY house. It woke me up late and it woke me up early. My stomach was in a knot because the ring was identical to mine and I kept assuming my phone was malfunctioning when it showed that no one had called. In desperation I called the last number that had called me and woke up a potential client. NOT good. This morning I came across the cell phone and realized what had happened. I think this neighbor owes me, what do you think? I am tired and damn cranky and we won't even begin to discuss how much I miss getting a paycheck.

Mr. Sandman please visit me...........soon and for a long visit.

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