Friday, March 05, 2010

Another Week Draws to a Close

What a week! We had the dryer repair, the car repair, a major snowstorm and other minor ripples in our universe. Last night Rob came home after working late (we both worked a bit of overtime this week, he much more than I) and wanted a nice hot shower. He turned the water on and found there was no hot water. I was downstairs in the kitchen and felt the water heater which was ice cold. We have a neighbor, Ken, who was a plumber but who has a terrible problem with his back and has been out of work for quite a while. We called him and although he couldn't do anything physically, he told Rob what to do. It seems out darling fur givers had generated enough fur to clog up the pilot light and it had gone out. We got it lit temporarily and he will show Rob how to properly clean it on Sunday with a special kind of vacumn and tool. He refused money so I will buy his family a grocery store card as thanks. This brings our total repairs to over one thousand dollars in ten days (well including the purchase of the grill.) YIKES. Each time I even think of not working or going part time this is why I don't do it. My goal is to try to get my car paid off this year. In the event I would have to be out of work again for any illness, that would take a lot of pressure off.

I am feeling so much better than I did the entire 2009 year. That makes me feel so optomistic. Let me tell you, if you don't have your health you have nothing. I look back and don't know how I managed to go to work and perform. I was that sick for months on end. I am hoping as my breathing continues to improve, to build more stamina and get in better shape. I would like to lose even more weight as I think I have more energy from that alone.

I had a coaching session at work today. I was very pleased. They are impressed at how quickly I have adapted to the changes and my performance is at the top of their scale. I take pride in that. My new team are a great group of people. I am the "new kid on the block" and there are a lot of times I might feel left out but I shake it off. Although you spend a lot of time with coworkers I always try to tell myself that they will come and go and are not the people who are trulyimportant in my life. This last round of illness helped me to be more patient and tolerant. I find less and less bothers me as my focus is on MY health and reclaiming it. I am also trying to identify what activities will be relaxing for us as the weather warms up.

It's going on 11 a.m. and I have been up since about six this morning. I am tired and going to call it a day. Rob is working tomorrow and I plan to do a few relaxing things for myself in the morning. I am so glad that his check will be more next week and we can knock some of these bills out quickly. Rob got a small raise and that will help too.

One other cousin in Maryland sent me a message. The blizzard damaged my grandmother's dogwood tree she loved so. For some reason, that upset me terribly. I realized that most days I have to push thoughts of her away so that I can function, especially at work. It just seemed that maybe the tree was not as strong without her and I think of her house being emptied out and her things dispersed. She loved her tiny home and her sentimental things that she treasured so. I have to tell myself that I carry her with me in my heart and in my memories but there are days I feel I would give anything to be able to see her smile, or feel her hug once more. Even though I told her frequently how much I loved her, I wish I had done it even more. I long to hear her voice just one more time. Rest in peace beloved one.



I understand about your grandmother and the tree. Hold on to your memories... they are what sustain us. I can remember finding a letter my grandmother wrote me in the attic, years & years after she passed. I cried on and off for a week, cradling it in my hands, sitting it on table, etc. I still miss her terribly.

alphawoman said...

This was some entry!! I am so sorry about your string of problems. Seems like they come in groups. It goes to show you that God doesn't give you more than you can handle. Several days ago on the front page of the AOL screen there was an article about "Hire this Person" type. Focus was a 50ish exec. from NYC. It was astonishing, not so much the article (though I tried to leave a comment but you know how AOl is about yahoo addresses) but the thread of comments. Wow! So many 50 somethings struggling to find employment! And so very sharp advice. But the bottom line .... work is scarce. I carry several people in my heart, it's a good place for them to be.