It's my birthday!

Today is my birthday. Hallelujah! I made it another year. That is THE gift. On my birthday I always think back to my cancer diagnosis at 23. It's been nearly thirty years since then. I guess that makes me a scrapper. I am in many ways. I am a paradox: the gentlest of the gentle at times, the weakest of the weak and at other times tough as nails.

My friend and I that had a standing arrangement of taking each other out to the Cheesecake Factory for lunch on our birthdays left me high and dry. She has other problems to deal with and knows I will understand. I do understand but it still stings somewhat.

My boss/friend gave me a beautiful arrangement of flowers which include pink roses and purple daisies. So colorful and fragrant. I got some checks and something sweet and thoughtful from Rob. I have yet to cut my cake. My son is on his way over shortly and we'll cut it then. I have my son. He survived leukemia. Another gift. Of the only important kind. I have a new coworker. Her son committed suicide. She is such a wonderful person. I have the utmost respect for her and she is so very likeable. Not enough things could be said to do her justice. I know what it's like to FACE the loss of a child without actually losing one. Her pain must be tenfold because it didn't have to be. I have been thinking so much about people who in utter despair end their lives. I understand it. Just a way to make the pain stop. I also think that at that time they must not be able to think of the pain they leave behind them. I wish they could.

I am 52 years old today. That may sound old to some. I am a survivor. I have survived Hodgkins disease, breast cancer, open heart surgery (and the receiving of a mechanical part), and a failed marriage. I have shed many tears. I have laughed and shared wonderful moments with friends. My cup is not half full, it overflows with all the wonderful things that life has brought me. I am loved. For that I am so grateful and my spirit sings.