Wednesday, April 07, 2010

Surprise Surprise

I know this will come as a great shock but I have been sick again. OMG I am so sick of being sick that the word sick makes me angry. For the past ten days I have coughed literally hundreds of times. I have been given dirty looks by people and have explained at length that I have bronchitis which my doctor assured me was not contagious. I have come home from work for the past week, eaten a light dinner and headed off to bed. Even sleeping ten hours a night didn't seem to help. I finished the antibiotics and yesterday afternoon I just had to go back to the doctor, leaving work early. The doctor heard noises in my lung again. She sent me to the hospital for a chest x ray which thankfully showed NO pneumonia. The blood tests did show another infection. I am tapering off steroids and now on yet another antibiotic.
Last night I was so sick I actually felt like it might be the end. Sicker than I felt in the hospital with pneumonia and the heart infection. My temp was rising and I guess it broke in the middle of the night. I awoke to a pool of sweat and my entire body and pajamas were as wet as if I had just climbed out of a pool. I am running a low grade fever and I am waiting for results of the blood cultures. Hopefully they will show nothing.

I have told Rob many times that I have a different take on life and leaving it. When I was just 23 years old I learned I had cancer. At that time the treatment was massive radiation. I now deal with the damage of that radiation and the loss of my spleen at that time. It has been a constant battle with dealing with health issues and determining that I would have a quality to my life. I have enjoyed my life despite the health battles. To survive cancer and have 32 extra years is no small fete. I have undergone surgeries and had to have a heart valve replacement. That was catastrophic in many ways. I am still forging on and I will for as long as I can. Having said that, I have enjoyed so much in my life, never taking one day for granted. I will never cry because it's over but I will smile because it was. I hope that when I am gone people won't remember the surgeries and the illness but they will remember my smile and laughter. What a long, strange trip it's been and I wouldn't have wanted to miss any of it.


Missie said...

Oh Nelle! I can't believe you're so sick again. I sure hope you get a break soon. Keeping you in my prayers my friend!

alphawoman said...

Nelle, I wish you would move to a climate that would be gentler on your lungs. I would suggest the South, but as you know, we are muggy and wet. Wet all year round. I need to start up my Post card campaign with you again! I do understand appreciation of life. I was in a car accident when I was 23 and when I woke it was in the hospital. My life was in a shambles from that point on. I remember like it was yesterday understanding that pain is in living, not dying. Get better quick. Spring is here!!

Susan C said...

Nelle, I hope you're healing. You are such a trooper getting up to go to work every day. I don't know how you physically do it when you are so sick. I hope you have felt better since the fever broke.

Virginia said...


So sorry to hear you are sick again. I hope that this is the end of it for you and you have a wonderful summer in the sun.

Peace, Virginia


I don't know how you do the things you do, constantly worried about your health. HANG IN THERE. I hope you're feeling better soon. My husband has COPD and continually has to adjust his environment just to breath, so I understand how difficult things have been for you.

Judith HeartSong said...

Fell better soon and say shoo germs!!!! A big warm hug (and some chicken soup.)