Thursday, March 15, 2012

Sleepless in Robtopia

It's 2:30 in the morning and I should be sleeping. I don't think the iced tea I had with dinner was decaf, although I thought it was. I am going to be one tired girl tomorrow when the phone rings at 9 a.m. and the guy tells me when he'll be here to fill my oxygen tank. I'm down to two lights so I need a refill. This past week I was on it 24/7 so used much more.

I am happy to report that I saw Dr. F again on Tuesday. They called me Monday evening to let me know that I had pneumonia and it was in two lobes of my right lung. They wanted to see me again. Dr. F remarked my coloring was much better. My fever was also gone and my lungs sounded better. He is keeping me on the Avelox a few days more though and told me I wouldn't feel completely well for several more weeks. This morning when I woke up I noticed that I did feel better though. Last week was really bad. I actually was able to go to the grocery store and pick up some things.

The weather was gorgeous today. 72 degrees and sunny. I was sad not to be able to take my laptop out to the patio but my patio table was destroyed in the last bad windstorm. I have not been able to find another that is within my budget except for a tiny one that was not at all what I need. The doctor bills are rolling in every few days and over the next month I will be paying a lot for those. I am so grateful that in this economy Rob has a job. He will be working overtime on Saturday. I hate when he works on the weekend as I feel he deserves and needs two consecutive days off but he insists he doesn't mind. We are used to two incomes and over the past year the most income I have been able to have with disability is 60% of what I made. That is taxable income I believe. I still have yet to have my taxes done. I did get the paperwork together though.

Have I mentioned that I can no longer sing? Actually it's been quite awhile. When I went to the ENT I was so hopeful it was something simple. I found out that it's my lungs and I will never really sing again. I can make these attempts but it's not pretty. My voice cracks and I cannot sustain a note. I never had a great voice but I enjoyed singing along. I just purchased the Adele 21 cd which I have enjoyed so much. Now the singing must take place inside my head. It's difficult to get used to.

One of my high school friends called me the other day. She has ovarian cancer, stage 3. She was so overwhelmed and told me she had no clue what it was like to be in such a predicament. I listened while she expressed a lot of feelings. I told her that what she was thinking was normal under these circumstances. It occurred to me that sometimes just listening to someone is such a help to them. She lives in California, so very far away. I wish I could drive to her home and just hug her and cry with her. We all need people and to feel that someone understands and cares. No matter how tough we are. I am grateful that we have Facebook and emails and we can communicate almost instantly with someone so far away. I can call her but she has a cell phone with limited minutes instead of a home phone so I have to be mindful of that. At times like this I wish I were wealthy and could shower her with flowers and reminders that someone cares. Cards will have to do.



I hope you get back to sleep. I am glad to hear the Avelox has proven effective. And more importantly that you're feeling a little better. Any improvement is headed in the right direction. I know it was warm here too. Such a shame you lost your table. Do you have a card table you could temporarily set out there? Don't dwell on what you lost. I have never been able to sing well. But I still enjoy a GOOD song. I LOVE Adele too. I am so sorry to hear about your friend. Circumstances sometimes get in the way of doing what we want to help another. But doing WHAT you are doing is lifting her spirits for sure. Perhaps also sending a handwritten letter each week, might bring her comfort too? I'll keep her in my prayers. You have a Happy St. Patty's. Take care.

alphawoman said...

It is amazing that under the circumstances that you have such compassion for another person. You are one in a million. I keep you in my prayers every night. Got your card. it made my day!