Wednesday, February 01, 2012

February? Really?

It's close to 70 here today and the sun is shining. How odd. We've had no more than a dusting of snow about six weeks ago. I love the four seasons. It seems we have three now. We had sprung for a new down comforter that we can't sleep under without being too hot. Where is winter?

I've had a lot of random, crazy thoughts lately. As I write this I am having pains in my chest, something I rarely get. It's like a needle stab.

These are my thoughts: WHY? WHY? WHY?
I try to distract myself from the negative but it's ever present. I am trying to be calm in the center of the storm of all storms. Why do I feel so alone? What can I do to get through this? I want answers. An email from God would be nice. I would appreciate the answer to even one question. I never want to hear the word terminal again. EVER. Incurable is more tolerable.


Virginia said...

I am so sorry you have so many hard challenges to deal with. Its completely undertstandable to want to ask "why, why, why????" I have no words of wisdom.

I hope the pain in your chest goes away.


Judith HeartSong said...

Dear Nelle, I have no answers but I can send a warm and loving hug to a Dear Friend who is more positive and uplifting than almost anyone else that I know. You cheer ME up when I am having a bad day:) Your grace and strength and courage are an example to so many.

Much love my Sister,



WEIRD weather for winter, indeed. But I must confess I'm LOVING it. Random thoughts can drive you CRAZY if you let them, Nelle. I know from experience. I hear your frustration. I know the emotional pain you must endure is as difficult as the physical. You HATE the word with GOOD reason. The word terminal has no HOPE in it. BUT you know in your heart, there is ALWAYS hope. So hang on to the positive. You are NOT alone. In the end we all face the same fate. BUT you've got miles to go before you sleep, dear internet friend. Lift this terrible burden of illness from your shoulders and find pleasure from the simplest things, if only for a moment or two each day. Allow yourself to smile. You DESERVE it. You are in my prayers. take care.

Missie said...

I'm glad winter has been non existent here in PA. We are having snow showers tomorrow though. I can handle snow showers.

I stopped asking why. I didn't like the answers I kept getting.

Hang in there friend! Sending you lots of hugs.