Saturday, November 28, 2009

All We are Saying is Give Peace a Chance

Rob and I are both peacelovers. We do not enjoy fighting and we enjoy even less, being verbally assaulted by people when we have no clue where they are coming from.
On Thanksgiving Rob did not call his mother. He knew she was having company and then going elsewhere for dessert. No one called us which was no big deal. On Friday evening we decided to get out of the house for about an hour after we accepted delivery of what was my grandmother's maple kitchen table. (It had belonged to my other grandma before her so it has extra special meaning to us.)
It needed some touch up stain so we ran out and got some. One of us got Dunkin Donuts. It was not the diabetic :(. We saw that between 8pm and 9 pm Rob's Mom had called here five times. She goes to bed at 9 and never left a message so he said it could wait until tomorrow. This morning my sister called and we were discussing my father's medicines and I got a beep. It was his mother again and I yelled up to him that he needed to call her back. She left a message for him in which she said she HAD to speak with him. He called her back and although I was sitting across the room I could hear her yelling in the phone. She said she had been trying to reach him for THREE days. Well, we were home all of Thanksgiving, have caller ID and voicemail and she didn't call that day. That left one hour on Friday in which we dared not answer. She said she was ready to call the police and have them check on us. My head was spinning by this time. Rob explained that he has a sick wife when she interrupted him and yelled "I have been hearing this for six months." Excuse me, for FIVE months I have been sick, trying desperately to get a diagnosis and improvement. I have had a few remissions from the bacteria attacking me while on antibiotics but please, do not act like I am a hypochondriac. She yelled and yelled while Rob gently tried to explain that as his wife I am his priority. She got even more furious and told him when he found a minute to call her and slammed the phone down in his ear. I was flabbergasted. What had this poor, caring guy done wrong? He had just spoken to her last Sunday, six days ago.
She has gone months without contacting us in the past. Rob dropped me off to see my Dad and ran some errands. She called his cell phone a few hours later and left a message. He wouldn't even listen to it, he just deleted it. This poor guy does not deserve this treatment. I do not need this kind of drama in my family or my home. I am not getting involved because of respect for Rob.

In addition to this, I learned yesterday that my aunt who is settling my grandmother's estate is not honoring my grandmother's wish for me to be the referring real estate agent. This is hurtful. My license is in New Jersey and while I could not list or sell the home, I could refer to an agent in Maryland who could. I would get a percentage of their commission which was what my grandmother wanted. My aunt worked very hard taking care of my grandmother. She is going through hard times herself and she is turning all this over to a lawyer to handle for her because it's easiest for her. I understand that and I would never say anything to upset my aunt. It just makes me sad that my grandmother's wishes won't be honored. I do love having her table here but it's bittersweet. I have some beautiful things but they were all received because someone "left" them to me.

I have had a rough day today. Some days I experience a lot of lightheadedness. This can be a side effect of my antibiotic but it can also be from the infection itself. I had hoped to be feeling better after two weeks but my cardiologist pointed out I have had this since July and it won't get better overnight. I still struggle at times for breath when I have to excert myself.

I want to have a gentle and peaceful atmosphere in my home. When Rob and I are here alone, we have it. Peace is a beautiful thing.

2 comments:

A Middle Aged Mom said...

Peace is a beautiful thing! Rob did not deserve to be treated that way by his mom. I think he deserves an apology.

I'm glad you're on the mend, but wish you were feeling better.

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