This and That

The insomnia is really wearing me down. Many nights I get four hours sleep or less. Last night I could fall asleep but couldn't stay asleep. It was a gorgeous beach day but I couldn't have made it. It's been a hard week for me. Whenever I went anywhere I was plagued with the breathlessness.

One day I took the new car to the dealer. The Sirius radio works intermittenly and has for months. Each time we took it there they blew us off because it worked by the time they checked it out. This time we had no radio the day before and I insisted they keep looking. They sent me home in a rental car after I was there three hours and then called me a few hours later telling me to come pick it up. They told me the radio is a computer and is malfunctioning. Many other people have the same problem and Nissan is working on a fix. When they find it, I will be called back for the repair. In the meantime we paid for the radio service and there is no refund. It's so disappointing to be having a problem with a new vehicle. At least it's not a problem that interferes with us using the car. When the satellite radio is out, we can still listen to FM or play CDs which I find puzzling.

Many of  my neighbors have had great vacations. One was in Florida (all expenses paid for her and her children), came back and a week later enjoyed a vacation in Myrtle Beach, S.C. I am happy for her but she is someone who often complains to me about how hard she has it. I haven't been away for one night in years. My mother won't allow us to use her vacation home in upstate New York unless we take her and her dog with us. That would not be a vacation and I would have to arrange for oxygen to be there which is very involved. There is no money for a real vacation. At times I get very frustrated. I am home so much of the time. Often I am lonely and bored. I have begun reading again and am almost done with the second book in The Hunger Games series. We saw the movie the other night which I found very disappointing as compared to reading the book. I also finished Fifty Shades of Grey. I wish I had a hobby I could do at home. I know it will be better when it's not so hot outside and I can enjoy my patio. I have grown tomatoes this year but couldn't take on anything more.

I have an appointment to see a therapist next week. I think I need a fresh perspective on many things.
I still struggle at times wondering where my "friends" are. Some have been great but others have vanished. There have just been way too many changes in the past few years. It's a lot to deal with. I'm hoping the therapist can help me find ways to do so.