Copious Chatter: Rest in Peace

On June 8th at 5:15 a.m. my beloved sister-in-law (the baby of our three sisters)peacefully left this world. We were blessed to be able to spend several hours with her for the two previous days. Despite four surgeries since January and many radiation treatments, her cancer had returned in less than four weeks after the last surgery in which the doctor felt he had it all. Mercifully, pneumonia claimed her before the cancer could. She left the world without complaint, much as she had lived her life. Her final words as we left that evening were barely heard because of the difficulty she had speaking and the weakness of her voice. We did see her mouth move and I heard the whisper "love you" as her mother, brother and I headed out. I suspected that might be the last time we would see her alive.

Jennifer McLaughlin McFetridge was a wonderful friend, daughter, sister, niece, cousin but mostly she was a mother to her eight year old daughter, Cassie. That was the thing that made her happiest. Making Halloween costumes, making head bands with ribbons to match each outfit, waiting in line to buy the latest Disney DVDs, anything that was for her daughter. This was her true happiness in life. Her daughter was not the only person who benefitted from Jen's caring. She always thought of what she could do for her Mom and even for her neighbors. All the neighbors had many stories of the times Jen had helped them. She did not complain. Her doctors came to tell us how brave she was, how hard she fought. We knew but it was good to know that they knew as well.

My favorite memory of Jennifer is this. When Rob and I were married we asked our DJ to play some Irish songs. He played the Unicorn Song where you make all the hand motions. She and I totally spontaneously, jumped up and the two of us did all the motions. When the music played between we grabbed each other and we waltzed all over the dance floor. We then proclaimed ourselves unicorn sisters. That Christmas we gave each other (unplanned) unicorns. That was a magical moment as were so many moments spent with my beloved baby sis. Several months ago I got a phone call at 7 a.m. It was Jen. They had just told her that her tumor which had been removed from her neck was now in her skull. She was scared. She talked to me about so many things that morning. Before we hung up she reminded me of the day we met. It was her father's wake. Her daughter was not yet two and I left the receiving line to care for her. We bonded like there was no tomorrow that evening. Since then her daughter and I have had a mutual admirational relationship. I adore that child and often think she was the daughter I might have dreamed of having. Jen asked me to promise her that if she lost her battle I would take care of her daughter, Cassie, at HER funeral. I promised her. I never dreamt it would happen. When we arrived for the communion last month Jen asked me to do everything for her. I did, WE did. Yesterday, once again, I dressed my eight year old niece and we went to her Mommy's funeral. It was heartbreaking to say goodbye. We will be seeing them here in a few weeks. I am hoping to make more money and surprise them with a trip to DisneyWorld.

I thought I was pretty together but Jen taught me a lot these past few months. She was wise beyond her years and she knew how to squeeze the lemons life threw at her and make them into lemonade. She knew how to put it in a beautiful glass and then take it to the beach to drink it. Her legacy is that she left people better off for having known her. I am a better person because of her example. I strive to be a good example for her daughter.

Jen never ended a phone conversation without saying to Rob or I "I love you both."

What a beautiful way to remember someone, that they made you feel loved. Thank you unicorn sis for the sunshine you gave not just to me. Jen was loved by all who knew her. It doesn't get any better than that in life.