A Small Slip of the Tongue (or Brain)

Friday night I was not feeling my best. On Thursday I left work early and went to see the internist. I told her I thought I had a sinus infection. She examined me and said she was reluctant to give me antibiotics and thought it was viral. She said to call her back Monday if I was not better or if I felt worse just to go to the Emergency Room. See, silly me thought that by seeing her I might avoid that. I came home and took two Benadryl had a good nights sleep of twelve hours and went to work on Friday feeling better. That night I began to cough again. Saturday I was pretty good and now using the prescription nasal spray which was supposed to do the trick. Saturday night I was coughing again and noticed a small amount of blood. For me this is a real red flag. Sunday I got up and felt okay then as the morning went on I was having several dizzy spells. Although I never had this happen before, I realized it was vertigo. After lunch I began thinking of how the doctors always tell me to seek early medical help and I decided I just should go to the ER so that on Monday I could go to work. We got to the ER and there were few people. I liked that. I was quickly taken to the back and checked out. A congenial doctor came to take my information and asked me to tell him "what was going on". Little did he know he was in for a history lesson. I began to tell him and I was thinking of how I shouldn't leave anything important out and I explained that the infectious disease doctor said I should have blood cultures before receiving any antibiotics. Why he asked? OK here it goes, I actually said this "Because there could be an orgasm in my blood that keeps affecting me."

He looked at my husband and they laughed hysterically. It took another minute before I realized what I had said. OMG. ORGANISM...I meant organism. Then they really lost it. What a moment. I said "Thank God this has not been videotaped." Seriously. I am hoping this doctor does not have a blog. Is there a doctor website where they post the top funniest patient ER moments? The doctor brought the nurse in and insisted I repeat what I said to her. I was waiting for him to show up with janitors etc. but he took pity on me.

There is something still on my right lung. Small. Could be scar tissue. Lung doctor will check it out and in the meantime as a precaution against an orgasm, I was prescribed Levaquin. Now for the pain of embarassment I will go hide my head under the nearest pillow.