Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Hello Friends

My blogging has slacked off for several reasons. I am back at work and I leave the house at 8 a.m. and do not get home until after 6 p.m. It's a long day and been an adjustment for me. I always have phone messages from friends (who I have repeatedly told my hours to) who seem surprised I am not here when they call.

This past weekend my mother went away for four days and my sister came to care for my Dad. Rob and I spent several hours there on Saturday and Sunday to keep her company. It's getting harder and harder to get reliable health aides. Somedays they don't want to be bothered to come and don't. Since my Dad is 200 pounds and like an infant who can't move his right side at all, and wears diapers this is a real problem. They have used three different companies. The aides want to come for three hours minimum but my mother gets upset because they want to change him, watch him eat then watch tv or text on their cell phones. She feels she should only pay them when they are working. The companies suggest that they can do "light" housework and we have encouraged her to have them do laundry, dishes etc. These agencies charge her $22.00 an hour but they pay the employees about $10 an hour. Now the agencies are refusing to send anyone for less than three hours so she is having them twice a day, where they used to come three times a day. She is very frustrated. The doctors never thought he would live this long. If you can call it living to be sitting in a chair that supports you like an infant and being able to speak few words (many of which are confused) and to be in diapers. My father would have hated for anyone to see him like this. My mother hates for people to come and just act like he isn't there asking her questions about him. We are just hoping the company will get more people who are more reliable (and strong enough to pull him out of his recliner and move him in and out of bed.)

There has been major upset with my husband's family. I won't go into it but it has caused us a lot of sleepless nights.
It seems when there are a lot of people hurting, everyone focuses on their hurt and not the hurt of others. I tried to make a phone call to smooth things over, but that didn't seem to go as planned. I have been so ill this year that I have made a decision that NO ONE will be allowed to damage my health. I try hard not to hurt people but I am open and honest. If people don't like that, I am going to have to accept that they don't like me and just let it go. It is so hard to watch someone you love hurting, and even harder to know there is not one thing you can do to make it better. All I can do is let him know that I love and appreciate him.

Well time to get to work. I woke up with a headache for the third straight day. Work has been going really well. I just kind of fell right back into the groove and adapted to the necessary changes.


Ronni Gordon said...

I like that conclusion, "Just let him know that I love him and appreciate him." I know that sometimes we all want to fix things for other people, which only makes a difficult situation more frustrating.

Susan C said...

Yes, I like that conclusion too. And I'm also glad to hear that work is going well.