Relief at Last

Last night I felt as though I might have a total meltdown. The past few weeks have been very trying. I learned yesterday morning that a former coworker and mentor, a lovely young 42 year old mother of two sons passed away. She had relapsed with breast cancer about two years ago. I knew it was coming but you can never be prepared for these things. I had to go to work and get through a trying day there. I knew I had to get to the lung doctor as well who is only in her office on Thursdays.

I tossed and turned unable to sleep. In the end I had about three hours sleep and was mentally and physically exhausted. I was experiencing anxiety as well. I kept Rob awake also and he called out of work as did I. I called the lung doctor office and they squeezed me in for this afternoon. She said that my thyroid is full of small nodules, all of which appear to be benign. That will get ultrasounded periodically now. As far as the "new thing" on my xray from Sunday she said that she believes it's most likely some old stuff not yet cleared. Apparently my CT scan of a month ago shows the lungs are far from normal still. They need to go months with no problems to continue to heal and clear. As a precaution she wants me to get them xrayed again in two weeks. I feel somewhat relieved.

There is a memorial service for our friend tomorrow evening. She was very active in the community and they are expecting there to be lines of people. I will try to go. On Saturday morning there will be a mass said for her and I plan to make it to that. Her friends and family are staring a theatre group in her memory for children. She loved the theatre and was in many amateur productions. When I think of her I think of two things: her beautiful cascading natural curly hair and her huge smile. You will be missed Michelle.