My Bouquet

Last night as I was laying in bed and fretting on so many issues going on I began to make a bouquet of my thoughts. I tried to picture each one as a beautiful flower. I then began to focus on memories of my sister-in-law Jen. I began to smile thinking of happier times and conversations. Sometimes I am incapacitated by waves of grief. At times my mind goes into denial mode and I refuse to believe that I will never see her smile or hear her voice again.
We speak almost daily with my mother-in-law. She seems to be managing well but no one knows the pains that we hide from others. Life goes on. That bothers me. You die and life goes on without you no matter who or what you leave behind. I guess it is myself I sometimes think of when I have those thoughts. Mostly my mind focuses on a petite 8 1/2 year old little girl who faces each day without her Mom. I wish I could make it better for her and I hope to try.