Disappointment

I finally had my right heart catherization. It was not what  I had hoped for. Not only had my pressure not gone down, it had increased in my lungs. My heart was worse bearing this pressure and that of fluid in my body. It was disheartening.

Rob and I began going to a new church a few months ago. It has lifted my spirits tremendously. The people are loving, kind and friendly. They are a nondenominational church who basically believe in reading and teaching the Bible and following it's teachings.

Tonight my mother is having all of us go out for my father's birthday (Oct. 27th). Why we do this now and not while he was alive and would have enjoyed it perplexes me. It also reinforces my belief that we should do things NOW for people, not when they are gone. This week one of my dear friends from high school lost her mother. Another friend's father has been in critical condition for over a month and they were removing him from life support last night. She lives in Florida and had come to be with him in Pennsylvania for a week. Her husband is also quite ill and she won't be able to come back for his funeral.

I deactivated my Facebook account. I just can't take all the whining from people who have no clue what real problems are. Some people who have known how ill I have been for YEARS make posts such as "love you." Really? Sorry, but if you have known I was critically ill numerous times and never acknowledged it, I do not believe  you care much less love me. It seems so many people throw these words around so lightly. Instead of "have a nice day" they want to say "love you." Frankly, I've had enough of that. The people I know love me don't have to tell me, I see it in their behavior. These are the faithful who have sent me emails, snail mail cards, called  me, invited me out. The diamonds of this group have come here to my home when I couldn't drive to meet them. Those are the people who love me and they know who they are.

I am tired. I am not feeling that great. I just felt I needed to update. Have a good weekend and for all my diamond friends: shine on you crazy diamonds. :)