Yesterday I was kind of down. It's really hard when the vast majority of your money goes for medical. Things like vacations never happen and we hardly go out for dinner anymore,unless it's someplace cheap. I miss the life I once had. Working enabled us to have such a higher standard of living. My doctors have told me I cannot work again. I know that I cannot but it's still hard to wrap my head around it. So much of my self esteem came from being independent. My social security disability money is so low that it doesn't cover my medical cost let alone anything else. Thank God I have a working husband.
It seems I have developed allergies. My sinuses keep stopping up and I cough a lot. If it persists, I will have to see the lung doctor. It's interfering with my sleep. I still cannot touch any fried food. Last night I decided it had been nearly three months since my surgery and tried to eat a chicken cutlet. I was in so much pain. I must be content now to live on burgers and salads and sandwiches. I can't touch tomato sauce without getting intense heartburn. I just keep waiting for this to get better.
Yesterday my toilet was running nonstop. The only way to stop it was to turn off the water to it. I knew I couldn't afford a plumber. I looked inside and saw that the stopper was in bad shape so Rob picked one up on his way home from work. I think it will be okay now. For me to have to go upstairs each time I needed to use the bathroom was a great difficulty. As I was feeling down I saw my newest neighbor, Andy, go to our mailbox. He and his wife are newly married and very sweet people. We have already met their families and were welcomed to their house warming. We had taken gifts and Rob helped Andy dig his fire pit. The note brought me to tears. They thanked us for being such wonderful neighbors and told us that we had been a blessing to them. It said that they in turned hoped to be a blessing to us. Yesterday they certainly were. Their note really lifted my spirit. It made me realize that while I cannot do big things for others anymore, I can show them friendship and make them feel welcome. I can still be a blessing to someone.
I have to redefine who I am and what my capabilities are. Thank you dear neighbors, thank you.