Thursday, September 25, 2008


Feeling a bit overwhelmed at the moment. My Dad who has COPD and congestive heart failure was taken by ambulance once again to the hospital. This about his fifth stay in 2008. At least he is not in ICU like the last two visits. He has pneumonia and a urinary infection again. He was bright red last night. They will fix him up once more and hopefully Oct. 27 be celebrating his 85th birthday. He has had a long life and a good life but it is hard to see him struggling, especially when at times his dignity is taken from him and he's not even aware enough to know.

I am going back to the dermatologist tonight. I had a skin cancer removed three weeks ago. This is a secondary cancer caused by all the radiation that I had so many years ago. He will discuss the biopsy results in detail and what needs to be done.
I have lived so long after the initial diagnosis and yet it is something that is always a part of who you are once you join that club. I need to rally my spirits but for some reason it doesn't get easier because the rest of life's problems don't go on hold. I am not looking forward to having more surgery no matter how small. I went through this a few years ago and it was fine then and my logical side tells me that I probably have the best kind to have. The irrational and neurotic side is screaming that there is NO good cancer of any kind and that this lion may be at bay but he can pounce any time he chooses to. Time to think of anything else that can distract me from that thought because that thought can take me somewhere I do not want to go.
At times like this my comfort is in my belief that God dwells within me, that I am one with His universe and that no matter what else happens, that cannot change.


Susan C said...

You are so right that the rest of life's problems don't go on hold.

Happy birthday to your dad.

I'm hoping the best for the biopsy results.

alphawoman said...

So sorry about your Dad but I know he is home now. And you, I hope the chat with the Doc comes out OK.