Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Doing the Right Thing

Today I did something I never expected I would have done. I accompanied my ex spouse to a doctor for a visit. He began having memory difficulties twenty years ago after what was probably a partial complex seizure. Since then his short term memory has been problematic.
He also began having some violent outbursts shortly afterwards. When he has seen doctors he has not been able to relate the things that he cannot remember. I offered to go and fill that in for him at his new neurologist today and I did.

What is interesting is the feedback I have received from others. Some praised me for being so kind to someone who in the past didn't show me much kindness. Others said I should have named a price to do this for him and guaranteed I would get something back out of it. That is just not me. I did mention to him today that as part of my divorce settlement I was getting his life insurance. When he retires in two days the value of what it was at my divorce will be reduced by 90%. He never told the lawyer that the policy would drop to that when he retired. Several years ago I would have come completely unhinged by this. Today I am a mellower person. I brought this to his attention and I am hoping he may do something to compensate me for this, if not then so be it. I cannot give him the power to make my life miserable. I won't do that to myself.

I am so tired. Although I love having an extra day off of work the ten and a half hour days are so long and tiring. I would prefer a five day week instead. Going to see if I can get something done about that.
Time for bed and hopefully a good night's sleep.


IndigoSunMoon said...

You did a very kind thing Nelle. Even though my ex hub was an ass, and still is, I would probably do the same thing for him.
Love you,

AlbGlinka said...

Hi Nelle: great to hear from you in my comments section-- your entries still have that same sweet sensitive energy that I remember from before. Sorry about the 10-hr days-- yaow-- that sounds tough. Loved your writing about diversity in the workplace. It's true in retail as well.

AlbGlinka said...

Oh, and I think you are doing the right thing in helping your ex-husband, it seems very kind.

alphawoman said...

that is so kind and so loving of you.