Today was my day to rest up. At least until tonight when a coworker is driving me to get my certificate to take the state test. I know.......it sounds crazy but if I were not going to be there tonight I would have had to sign special papers. This is a very important certificate. I will go there, get it and get back to my toasty bed.
Rob stayed home with me today. HE got a lot done! We both worked on Christmas cards and they are ready to mail. Lots and lots of them. He then washed my kitchen floor, winterized our lawn and unpacked and installed my Christmas Monitor. It's a beauty. Sleek, black and large. I am loving being able to really see and the flat screen prevents a lot of glare from the glass ones. I get fatigue from my eyes.
I am still sitting here in my nightshirt. I was going to take a shower all day long but it just seemed like it would take too much energy. I do feel a tad better today, no doubt the antibiotics are starting to kick in. Had a barrage of phone calls today. I tried to call a few people back that I owed calls to but couldn't get anyone else home. Just as well because I am sure my voice could use the rest.
Christmas is less than four weeks away. Hard to believe. I still have some shopping to do. My brain hasn't been too creative this year. I wish money were no object and I could give Rob a certificate to choose his dream car. That's what I would wish for him. He has done so much for me and done it without complaining. I must confess that Rob is not perfect. I have discovered that when I snore he does things to wake me up. Being congested I have snored a lot lately. Other than that, he's my McDreamy. I look at that face and it still melts my heart. Damn, hope I don't blow any more valves!
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
Monday, November 27, 2006
All I really want for Christmas (at least right now) is chicken soup
I am still sick. I had woken up last Tuesday not feeling well and on Wednesday had a bad sore throat. Now I think I have a sinus infection. Called the internist and he will see me at 1:45. It seems to me that the right half of my head feels much sicker than the left. My voice is a scratchy sounding weak noise that my animals don't seem to be hearing. I had to call out of work, something I hate doing when I have no paid sick days. On the other hand, I am too ill to work and would not want to infect coworkers with this plague of sorts.
This morning I managed to remove the sheets from my bed and get them into the washing machine. Rob helped me replace them before going to work. He wanted to stay home and take me to the doctor himself but if he calls out the day after a holiday, he won't be paid for the holiday, which is two days. I told him I will be fine.
I would love some chicken soup with matzoh balls. There's this wonderful Jewish deli only ten minutes from me but it seems so far right now. I don't know what time they open. I sure wish they delivered. Once you've had their soup you are ruined for canned soup. When I get there I'm going to buy extra for my freezer.
I am still eating Thanksgiving leftovers. Is anyone else? Saw a recipe on a show where they used the turkey, gravy and veggies and made a top crust only pot pie. YUMMMM. No matter how ill I am, I never lose my appetite. Sometimes I think I starved to death in a previous life.
This morning I managed to remove the sheets from my bed and get them into the washing machine. Rob helped me replace them before going to work. He wanted to stay home and take me to the doctor himself but if he calls out the day after a holiday, he won't be paid for the holiday, which is two days. I told him I will be fine.
I would love some chicken soup with matzoh balls. There's this wonderful Jewish deli only ten minutes from me but it seems so far right now. I don't know what time they open. I sure wish they delivered. Once you've had their soup you are ruined for canned soup. When I get there I'm going to buy extra for my freezer.
I am still eating Thanksgiving leftovers. Is anyone else? Saw a recipe on a show where they used the turkey, gravy and veggies and made a top crust only pot pie. YUMMMM. No matter how ill I am, I never lose my appetite. Sometimes I think I starved to death in a previous life.
All I really want for Christmas (at least right now) is chicken soup
I am still sick. I had woken up last Tuesday not feeling well and on Wednesday had a bad sore throat. Now I think I have a sinus infection. Called the internist and he will see me at 1:45. It seems to me that the right half of my head feels much sicker than the left. My voice is a scratchy sounding weak noise that my animals don't seem to be hearing. I had to call out of work, something I hate doing when I have no paid sick days. On the other hand, I am too ill to work and would not want to infect coworkers with this plague of sorts.
This morning I managed to remove the sheets from my bed and get them into the washing machine. Rob helped me replace them before going to work. He wanted to stay home and take me to the doctor himself but if he calls out the day after a holiday, he won't be paid for the holiday, which is two days. I told him I will be fine.
I would love some chicken soup with matzoh balls. There's this wonderful Jewish deli only ten minutes from me but it seems so far right now. I don't know what time they open. I sure wish they delivered. Once you've had their soup you are ruined for canned soup. When I get there I'm going to buy extra for my freezer.
I am still eating Thanksgiving leftovers. Is anyone else? Saw a recipe on a show where they used the turkey, gravy and veggies and made a top crust only pot pie. YUMMMM. No matter how ill I am, I never lose my appetite. Sometimes I think I starved to death in a previous life.
This morning I managed to remove the sheets from my bed and get them into the washing machine. Rob helped me replace them before going to work. He wanted to stay home and take me to the doctor himself but if he calls out the day after a holiday, he won't be paid for the holiday, which is two days. I told him I will be fine.
I would love some chicken soup with matzoh balls. There's this wonderful Jewish deli only ten minutes from me but it seems so far right now. I don't know what time they open. I sure wish they delivered. Once you've had their soup you are ruined for canned soup. When I get there I'm going to buy extra for my freezer.
I am still eating Thanksgiving leftovers. Is anyone else? Saw a recipe on a show where they used the turkey, gravy and veggies and made a top crust only pot pie. YUMMMM. No matter how ill I am, I never lose my appetite. Sometimes I think I starved to death in a previous life.
Saturday, November 25, 2006
An Unusual Thanksgiving Holiday
This was one of the most unusal Thanksgiving holidays I have ever spent. We had planned to be in Rhode Island. My mother-in-law felt that our dog might be problematic and besides she was sick so it seemed best not to go. Not my decision but sometimes you can only roll with the punches. We had a nice meal at home, which I was scampering about last minute for. My son came over and I had macaroni and cheese for him, the vegetarian. I had developed a sore throat and on Friday we were just hanging out when the phone rang. My friend had been inviting us to her place on the Cheseapeake Bay for weeks for Thanksgiving and we had declined, believing we would be in Rhode Island. I told her I wasn't feeling well but she wanted us to come so badly and I thought "I took 4 days off work expecting to go somewhere so why not?" My husband, the more reasonable of the two of us advised me against it. Ten minutes later we were packing up the car and made out getaway with Duffy in the backseat. Duffy gets carsick and I tried something on him the vet had given me. It worked for the first 100 miles. It was then that my backseat got covered. We pressed on and got to see the new home which sits on the Eastern Shore. The views are simply breathtaking. We had some leftovers for dinner and the men went and got Mission Impossible and we watched that. By now I was feeling worse and my voice was getting weaker by the moment. We went to bed and we both tossed and turned all night. The Canadian Geese were very noisy on the water. That would not normally bother me but my congestion, sore throat and some other man's snoring was keeping me awake. When we got up this morning, I know I disappointed my friend by saying we needed to head back. Three hours each way. She was celebrating a friend's mother's 100th birthday today. I simply could not in all conscience expose this woman to my illness. On the way back today our poor Duffy who had been a model of good behavior threw up all the way home. It was heart rendering.
We got him home, Rob bathed him and he is in good spirits. Not so sure if he'll be eager to get back in the car again. Rob did something he had always wanted to do. If you want to know what check out his journal. I don't want to steal his thunder. He is taking wonderful care of me this evening. He is more concerned about my health than I am.
I hate to think that tomorrow is the last day of my four days off. I have my final class on Tuesday night when I get my course completion certificate. I have to be well for that! Tomorrow I am hoping to wake up feeling better and maybe put a few Christmas decorations up. Now that class is done I just need to take my state exam and focus on Christmas. It's a beautiful life.
We got him home, Rob bathed him and he is in good spirits. Not so sure if he'll be eager to get back in the car again. Rob did something he had always wanted to do. If you want to know what check out his journal. I don't want to steal his thunder. He is taking wonderful care of me this evening. He is more concerned about my health than I am.
I hate to think that tomorrow is the last day of my four days off. I have my final class on Tuesday night when I get my course completion certificate. I have to be well for that! Tomorrow I am hoping to wake up feeling better and maybe put a few Christmas decorations up. Now that class is done I just need to take my state exam and focus on Christmas. It's a beautiful life.
Wednesday, November 22, 2006
Happy Anniversary and other things to be thankful for
I get very choked up when I think of what I have to be thankful for. I am thankful to be alive. There were times when I wasn't sure I would live through a medical crisis. I first got cancer when I was 23 years old. I feared I would not live to see my three year old grow up. I did. :)
When my only child got leukemia at the age of 16 I was stricken with physical fear, nothing like anything I had ever experienced before. I would have gladly taken his place but that was not an option. I thank God daily that my son survived (after being given odds of 30%). I thank God that my sanity remained throughout that three year ordeal. I thank God that I found the strength to leave a relationship that was threatening the core of who I am. I am thankful that I found the strength and endured the really rough times and survived them.
Today is the third anniversary of my church wedding. I am so grateful that I found Rob. He is a wonderful, kind and loving man. He makes me feel valued and loved. It doesn't get any better than that. He always believes that whatever obstacles I have to overcome, that I will. Knowing that someone believes in you is something that I have not had for much of my life.
I am also grateful for my friends. The ones who have always been there to listen, who have given me hugs when needed and told me the hard truth when I needed to hear it.
I have much to be thankful for. I think we all do but often people see the glass as half empty. To me my cup runneth over.
When my only child got leukemia at the age of 16 I was stricken with physical fear, nothing like anything I had ever experienced before. I would have gladly taken his place but that was not an option. I thank God daily that my son survived (after being given odds of 30%). I thank God that my sanity remained throughout that three year ordeal. I thank God that I found the strength to leave a relationship that was threatening the core of who I am. I am thankful that I found the strength and endured the really rough times and survived them.
Today is the third anniversary of my church wedding. I am so grateful that I found Rob. He is a wonderful, kind and loving man. He makes me feel valued and loved. It doesn't get any better than that. He always believes that whatever obstacles I have to overcome, that I will. Knowing that someone believes in you is something that I have not had for much of my life.
I am also grateful for my friends. The ones who have always been there to listen, who have given me hugs when needed and told me the hard truth when I needed to hear it.
I have much to be thankful for. I think we all do but often people see the glass as half empty. To me my cup runneth over.
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
Two Days and Counting.........
We are two days away from Turkey Day and I just went today and bought a 14 pound turkey and two pies. I normally cook pies but since I was at the endodontist today, go to school tonight and work tomorrow I decided to buy them instead. Not the cheap pies but the really good ones, one pumpkin and one lattice apple pie.
Back to the endodontist visit.....a few weeks ago I began experiencing pain each time I put something hot in my mouth. The pain seemed to be coming from my front tooth which had been root canaled about ten years ago. The dentist x rayed it and told me that he could'nt see anything and wanted a root canal specialist to investigate it. This morning when he put heat (and by heat I mean something that was smoking, litterally) on the tooth that I thought it was coming from I felt nothing. The same heat on the tooth next to it revealed immediate, intense pain. WE now know that #8 is fine but #7 has an inflamed root. The doctor recommends having it root canaled. Before the pain becomes unbearable and before it becomes dead and infected.
Damn I hate dental procedures. I booked it for Dec. 12th. That will mean that my dental coverage for this year will pay for it since I barely used it. If I postpone it, which I am tempted to do I might find myself putting a lot out of pocket next year. Better to get it over with. That is providing I don't back out. When I was a child I first went to the dentist at age 6. My older brother told me that the dentist used the jackhammers that were used on sidewalks on your teeth. When I learned I needed a filling I promptly threw up all over the dentist. The following week when I arrived I fainted, came to and threw up again. At that point he advised my mother I needed to be knocked out for the work to be done. They gave me an ether mask. Don't know if any of you have ever had that but the smell is sickening alone. I came to and found that four teeth were missing and others had so much pain from the deep silver fillings. My grandmother took me to her house and I was on liquids for a few days. From then on the very mention of the name dentist had me in a cold sweat. It was only as a young adult that I learned that my brother who had terrorized me about the dentist had never had ONE filling. In his thirties he got ONE very small filling. My mouth is full of fillings, now some metal and some porcelain. I can go to the dentist now without throwing up or fainting. I do feel anxious and once I hear the drill I go into my flight mode. I grip the chair so hard I will have cramps in my hands afterward. I keep telling myself that I am fortunate to be able to have dental work as opposed to having my teeth fall out. I am fortunate to have dental insurance and know that I will only pay 20% for the most part.
I will do what I need to to keep my teeth. I just hope it goes better than my last root canal.
Back to the endodontist visit.....a few weeks ago I began experiencing pain each time I put something hot in my mouth. The pain seemed to be coming from my front tooth which had been root canaled about ten years ago. The dentist x rayed it and told me that he could'nt see anything and wanted a root canal specialist to investigate it. This morning when he put heat (and by heat I mean something that was smoking, litterally) on the tooth that I thought it was coming from I felt nothing. The same heat on the tooth next to it revealed immediate, intense pain. WE now know that #8 is fine but #7 has an inflamed root. The doctor recommends having it root canaled. Before the pain becomes unbearable and before it becomes dead and infected.
Damn I hate dental procedures. I booked it for Dec. 12th. That will mean that my dental coverage for this year will pay for it since I barely used it. If I postpone it, which I am tempted to do I might find myself putting a lot out of pocket next year. Better to get it over with. That is providing I don't back out. When I was a child I first went to the dentist at age 6. My older brother told me that the dentist used the jackhammers that were used on sidewalks on your teeth. When I learned I needed a filling I promptly threw up all over the dentist. The following week when I arrived I fainted, came to and threw up again. At that point he advised my mother I needed to be knocked out for the work to be done. They gave me an ether mask. Don't know if any of you have ever had that but the smell is sickening alone. I came to and found that four teeth were missing and others had so much pain from the deep silver fillings. My grandmother took me to her house and I was on liquids for a few days. From then on the very mention of the name dentist had me in a cold sweat. It was only as a young adult that I learned that my brother who had terrorized me about the dentist had never had ONE filling. In his thirties he got ONE very small filling. My mouth is full of fillings, now some metal and some porcelain. I can go to the dentist now without throwing up or fainting. I do feel anxious and once I hear the drill I go into my flight mode. I grip the chair so hard I will have cramps in my hands afterward. I keep telling myself that I am fortunate to be able to have dental work as opposed to having my teeth fall out. I am fortunate to have dental insurance and know that I will only pay 20% for the most part.
I will do what I need to to keep my teeth. I just hope it goes better than my last root canal.
Sunday, November 19, 2006
Why I support cloning........
This week I would like to be able to clone myself. Seriously. On Thanksgiving my mother will be going to my nephew's house in Pennsylvania. At first it was a bit shocking and I wondered what we would do. Little could I have guessed. We got an email from my mother-in-law (she can't call anymore because she can't afford it so we rarely communicate.) When we do try calling her she is rarely home which perhaps if she stayed home more........well I won't go there. My sister-in-law, the baby of the family has had her share of problems. She had a nerve removed which contained a tumor and she is now undergoing radiation. She has a seven year old daughter who has been quite upset, understandably so. We NEED to be there. I would like to be here with my son. I would also like to be at my friend's new house on the inlet of the Chesapeake Bay. Unfortunately, I can only be ONE place. It will probably be Rhode Island but we first have to find someone home to talk to. It is very hard when you have two families and they are nearly 300 miles apart. I also have a son who is here. His father goes to his girlfriend's and my son does not go there. It gets so complicated and I wish it weren't. This will probably be the last Thanksgiving that we go to Rhode Island. We have tried for six years to get my mother-in-law to come here. She refuses and the last time she was at our house was two years ago and it was a two hour visit while passing through our state with her sister. It has been three years since she was here for our church wedding. While she has managed to go to Mexico, Miami, Michigan, and New York she hasn't been able to come here. This really frustrates her son. She does not know my son, her son's step-son at all. That really frustrates me. Why must everything be so complicated? I have a trunk full of gifts to take up there. Next year if they are not going to come here we are going to have to do gift certificates. I refuse to spend money to mail toys and gifts again.
Don't get me wrong.....it's not that my family is a piece of cake either. Oh no. Not at all. I have older nieces and nephews that show up at my brother's house every year expecting gifts when I have never received a card in the mail from them. It's the one time of the year I know I will see one of my brother's and his family. They see her family weekly: parents and siblings.
I am not going to let any of this get me down. I refuse! I will enjoy turkey day. I will enjoy Christmas or someone's going to pay! I have visions of a flat screen monitor dancing in my head.
Don't get me wrong.....it's not that my family is a piece of cake either. Oh no. Not at all. I have older nieces and nephews that show up at my brother's house every year expecting gifts when I have never received a card in the mail from them. It's the one time of the year I know I will see one of my brother's and his family. They see her family weekly: parents and siblings.
I am not going to let any of this get me down. I refuse! I will enjoy turkey day. I will enjoy Christmas or someone's going to pay! I have visions of a flat screen monitor dancing in my head.
Thursday, November 16, 2006
Thanksgiving Approaches
My son called me earlier. He is sad because he can't celebrate Thanksgiving in the house he grew up in. Making matters worse he drove by the house today and the new people made some changes. I had seen those changes and while I don't think they enhanced the appearance, that is their right as the new owners. My son still regrets that I could not live there indeffinitely, perhaps even until he someday could take over the house. The taxes alone were beyond my reach once the house and all it's bills become solely mine. I was lucky to get out from under the financial burden. It had some good memories and my fireplace that I still miss very much.
My son is having what are growing pains. He hasn't found anyone he wants to share his life with. Well, he did many years ago but she decided once she lived in the city that she wanted to have her freedom. He has never cared for anyone the way he cared for her and I fear that it will be a long time, if he ever trusts anyone with his heart again. Life has been difficult for him. I wish I could change that but I cannot.
Saddest of all to me is that he cannot seem to see how much he has going for him. He finally has a full time job and money in the bank but he wants to own his own company. He is not a good business person as he does things for free or little money. He wants to be generous and helpful and while those are admirable traits they don't make a business owner a success in most situations.
He talks about leaving this country. The grass always looks greener. I understand that. I remember what it is to have dreams and the yearn to travel. I worry though. I don't want to have to worry. The hardest part of parenting is letting your child (no matter how old) pursue their dream knowing that it would be easier for them not to. I won't squelch that in him. He has the roots and now he is going to spread his wings. I'm glad that he is physically healthy enough to be focusing on things like that.
My son is having what are growing pains. He hasn't found anyone he wants to share his life with. Well, he did many years ago but she decided once she lived in the city that she wanted to have her freedom. He has never cared for anyone the way he cared for her and I fear that it will be a long time, if he ever trusts anyone with his heart again. Life has been difficult for him. I wish I could change that but I cannot.
Saddest of all to me is that he cannot seem to see how much he has going for him. He finally has a full time job and money in the bank but he wants to own his own company. He is not a good business person as he does things for free or little money. He wants to be generous and helpful and while those are admirable traits they don't make a business owner a success in most situations.
He talks about leaving this country. The grass always looks greener. I understand that. I remember what it is to have dreams and the yearn to travel. I worry though. I don't want to have to worry. The hardest part of parenting is letting your child (no matter how old) pursue their dream knowing that it would be easier for them not to. I won't squelch that in him. He has the roots and now he is going to spread his wings. I'm glad that he is physically healthy enough to be focusing on things like that.
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
Celebration Time!
I am happy to report that I passed my final exam. The hard studying paid off and I got an 89 on my final. I think only one person got a higher score than me and she is the one person who does not work outside of her home and studies three hours per day. She got a 95.
My coworker and friend invited me to her house and we had the celebratory wine and a sandwich. We are both so relieved. Now we only have to pass the state licensing exam and we are good to go. It's been a long, hard road but the end is in sight.
Thanksgiving is next week and I will be spending it with some very special people. Time to be grateful and that I certainly am.
My coworker and friend invited me to her house and we had the celebratory wine and a sandwich. We are both so relieved. Now we only have to pass the state licensing exam and we are good to go. It's been a long, hard road but the end is in sight.
Thanksgiving is next week and I will be spending it with some very special people. Time to be grateful and that I certainly am.
A B C........simple as 1, 2, 3...........
Yesterday I studied.....from 10 a.m. until 5 p.m. I covered eleven chapters. Reread them and wrote myself notes. It was a productive day. Today I plan to cover the next eleven chapters.
My test is at 6 p.m. These are the chapters with the math problems in them and two are difficult. When I am done writing this entry I will be opening the book. I have found that taking breaks and learning to relax a bit is helping me retain more than I previously had. Yesterday the pets were good. They each got something to entertain them and I had a lot of quiet while studying. I feel really good about the day's progress. Things which previously confused me seemed to become understandable. My brain seemed to be kicking in. Woohoo!
The laws I have studied on discrimination have been very interesting and thought provoking.
In New Jersey you cannot discriminate on race EVER because it's a federal law. You can, if you own your own home and are renting out a room or apartment in part of your own dwelling, discriminate on some other factors though. I never realized that there were so many laws regarding real estate. In New Jersey there are laws prohibiting discrimination against sexual or affectional orientation. New Jersey is a progressive state. If you have been watching the news you know that. This state is overpopulated and very costly to live in. Sometimes though, I am proud of this state. I have lived here since the age of ten. That's coughfortytwoyearscough.
I live in such a diverse area. There are people from every race, nationality, religion. I have a neighbor a few doors down who has lights up for Ramadan. He's from India. It's a cultural melting pot here. Since I can't afford to live in Manhattan this is as good as it gets. I love the city. Often wished I could afford a brownstone there....in an artsy neighborhood in the Village. That will never happen but the suburbs which were rural farms when I moved here so long ago are now more and more an extension of that city and it's people. It keeps life interesting.
My test is at 6 p.m. These are the chapters with the math problems in them and two are difficult. When I am done writing this entry I will be opening the book. I have found that taking breaks and learning to relax a bit is helping me retain more than I previously had. Yesterday the pets were good. They each got something to entertain them and I had a lot of quiet while studying. I feel really good about the day's progress. Things which previously confused me seemed to become understandable. My brain seemed to be kicking in. Woohoo!
The laws I have studied on discrimination have been very interesting and thought provoking.
In New Jersey you cannot discriminate on race EVER because it's a federal law. You can, if you own your own home and are renting out a room or apartment in part of your own dwelling, discriminate on some other factors though. I never realized that there were so many laws regarding real estate. In New Jersey there are laws prohibiting discrimination against sexual or affectional orientation. New Jersey is a progressive state. If you have been watching the news you know that. This state is overpopulated and very costly to live in. Sometimes though, I am proud of this state. I have lived here since the age of ten. That's coughfortytwoyearscough.
I live in such a diverse area. There are people from every race, nationality, religion. I have a neighbor a few doors down who has lights up for Ramadan. He's from India. It's a cultural melting pot here. Since I can't afford to live in Manhattan this is as good as it gets. I love the city. Often wished I could afford a brownstone there....in an artsy neighborhood in the Village. That will never happen but the suburbs which were rural farms when I moved here so long ago are now more and more an extension of that city and it's people. It keeps life interesting.
Sunday, November 12, 2006
Damn I Feel Cranky
Yesterday was a wonderful day. We drove to Pennsylvania to celebrate the birthday of my best friend since the age of ten. She seemed to like her gifts and we had a nice cake. Later in the day we went to a restaurant with her son and her fiancee's son and had a nice dinner.
Today I really need to be studying. I am facing so many distractions. The neighborhood kids bouncing a basketball and screaming, dogs barking (including my own) and a spoiled cat that cries constantly alternating between wanting attention and food.) I need peace and quiet. I remember being a teen and studying with music blaring in the background. The louder the better. I read something ONCE and retained it. I have read this material dozens of times and still, I miss things. It makes me cranky. It makes me banish pets for some "me" time.
On the second half of our midterm our teacher had 70% of the class fail. She blamed us for not studying. I studied for at least four hours for that test. I did well all through school. I think it's one thing to do something and another to teach. Perhaps that is my crankiness speaking. I know that I have spent countless hours trying to study, some were more successful than others. Still, I was told by the three people who scored an 80 on that midterm that they don't work and they study a MINIMUM of three hours per day. I am frustrated. Yesterday was a nice distraction for me but now it's time to buckle down and I keep wondering if I have the right stuff.
It's raining and while I usually hate it, I am getting happier because that means that the kids can't be outside playing. Sometimes I think I need to be in a senior development. That sounds awful but I need my quiet now. Damn it.
Today I really need to be studying. I am facing so many distractions. The neighborhood kids bouncing a basketball and screaming, dogs barking (including my own) and a spoiled cat that cries constantly alternating between wanting attention and food.) I need peace and quiet. I remember being a teen and studying with music blaring in the background. The louder the better. I read something ONCE and retained it. I have read this material dozens of times and still, I miss things. It makes me cranky. It makes me banish pets for some "me" time.
On the second half of our midterm our teacher had 70% of the class fail. She blamed us for not studying. I studied for at least four hours for that test. I did well all through school. I think it's one thing to do something and another to teach. Perhaps that is my crankiness speaking. I know that I have spent countless hours trying to study, some were more successful than others. Still, I was told by the three people who scored an 80 on that midterm that they don't work and they study a MINIMUM of three hours per day. I am frustrated. Yesterday was a nice distraction for me but now it's time to buckle down and I keep wondering if I have the right stuff.
It's raining and while I usually hate it, I am getting happier because that means that the kids can't be outside playing. Sometimes I think I need to be in a senior development. That sounds awful but I need my quiet now. Damn it.
Sunday, November 05, 2006
My Week
Last week was quite full. Halloween was it's usual hectic night. The Duffster was dressed as "The King" with his white cape that had the gold eagle and jewels. He seemed to like the cape, even the collar that framed his head. He did veto the shades and I didn't push it. He greeted and barked at each and every treater I got. That was over one hundred although I don't think I had my record of two years ago which was about 130. Living in a development invites a lot of treaters for safety reasons. I don't know many of them but I do remember being a kid and each and every little bell ringer gets the same: a sticker page, Sweet Tarts and Dots or a Kit Kat, small sized treats.
I didn't have school Halloween evening but I was studying for the second part of my midterm which took place on Thursday night. Now that was scary. Picture this a room of over twenty adults looking at the test then each other in shock. The results were horrifying. Two women who are the 100 score, perfectionist types were able to get 80. Myself and a handful of others just missed the 70 score, coming in at 66. The majority failed it completely. I am talking scores of 40 and lower. I was always an A or B student. Frequently on the honor roll. I am not used to this. What is troubling is this: the book gives reviews and practice tests. I score 80 or above on them. This instructor with her decades of experience is making up her own tests. Huge discussion amongst students as to whether certain things were even mentioned that appeared on the test.
Secondly, there were two things discussed which were glossed over. There were five questions on each on the test. This is where the perfectionists couldn't even pull it together. One woman went into the ladie's room and sobbed. It was that bad. As one of the perfectionists was leaving she remarked to the teacher that the degree of difficulty on that test was beyond any expectation she might have had. The teacher remarked "I thought it was easy." Our instructor has worked in the field for over thirty years. I think that she cannot realize any longer what it is like to be starting out. It's one thing to do something but another to be able to teach it. At this point I am still trying. I did take a practice state test and did well but I must pass this final exam in order to be eligbile for the state licensing exam. I am hanging in there. Too much money and time invested to turn back now. Heading onward and upward.
This was my weekend to work. Yesterday was an exceptionally pleasant day at work and I got much accomplished with the quiet for the most part. I am having my yearly physical (the one I skipped the previous two years) on Wednesday and will be leaving early so I even made up that time on Saturday. It's hard to work a full day Saturday have Sunday off then return to work on Monday but Rob is such a help that I manage. He worked half a day Saturday also. I came home to dinner on the table, the house vacumned and a smiling face. Doesn't get much better than that. Some days I have to pinch myself to make sure I am not dreaming. Seriously. There was a time when I would have never believed that I could have the peace and contentment I now experience on a daily basis. The more I think of that I wish more people would realize that it's all about the choices that we make, or do not make. I know there are people who just will never get out of their bad situation no matter what. How sad because they are missing so much. I am so thankful to be where I am and to be with the person who brings out the best in me.
I didn't have school Halloween evening but I was studying for the second part of my midterm which took place on Thursday night. Now that was scary. Picture this a room of over twenty adults looking at the test then each other in shock. The results were horrifying. Two women who are the 100 score, perfectionist types were able to get 80. Myself and a handful of others just missed the 70 score, coming in at 66. The majority failed it completely. I am talking scores of 40 and lower. I was always an A or B student. Frequently on the honor roll. I am not used to this. What is troubling is this: the book gives reviews and practice tests. I score 80 or above on them. This instructor with her decades of experience is making up her own tests. Huge discussion amongst students as to whether certain things were even mentioned that appeared on the test.
Secondly, there were two things discussed which were glossed over. There were five questions on each on the test. This is where the perfectionists couldn't even pull it together. One woman went into the ladie's room and sobbed. It was that bad. As one of the perfectionists was leaving she remarked to the teacher that the degree of difficulty on that test was beyond any expectation she might have had. The teacher remarked "I thought it was easy." Our instructor has worked in the field for over thirty years. I think that she cannot realize any longer what it is like to be starting out. It's one thing to do something but another to be able to teach it. At this point I am still trying. I did take a practice state test and did well but I must pass this final exam in order to be eligbile for the state licensing exam. I am hanging in there. Too much money and time invested to turn back now. Heading onward and upward.
This was my weekend to work. Yesterday was an exceptionally pleasant day at work and I got much accomplished with the quiet for the most part. I am having my yearly physical (the one I skipped the previous two years) on Wednesday and will be leaving early so I even made up that time on Saturday. It's hard to work a full day Saturday have Sunday off then return to work on Monday but Rob is such a help that I manage. He worked half a day Saturday also. I came home to dinner on the table, the house vacumned and a smiling face. Doesn't get much better than that. Some days I have to pinch myself to make sure I am not dreaming. Seriously. There was a time when I would have never believed that I could have the peace and contentment I now experience on a daily basis. The more I think of that I wish more people would realize that it's all about the choices that we make, or do not make. I know there are people who just will never get out of their bad situation no matter what. How sad because they are missing so much. I am so thankful to be where I am and to be with the person who brings out the best in me.
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